Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Parent Club

As much as we don't want to admit it, there is a magical divide that occurs when friends start having babies. It made me feel wistful until I realized that it didn't mean we would necessarily turn into hermits that chose to procreate. There is of course, a period when life is crazy and it feels like a tiny human has taken over your lives, but that soon passes. You are still you, you just require more accoutrements when you travel.

However, you quickly realize that sometimes (not always!), going out with your single friends with your kid in tow can prove to be a bit stressful and often embarrassing. You end up doing a lot of apologizing for your baby's whining/screaming/crying or any other inappropriate behaviour; your conversations will absolutely get interrupted or altogether stopped; you will be distracted; and even if your friends are sweet and understanding, they will never completely comprehend. The worst is when people start talking about how much they really don't want children. You can do whatever you want with your lives, but there is such a thing as tact!

This is why so many parents join The Club. It seems that parents tend to gravitate towards one another, probably as a survival instinct. It feels comfortable to be with your own tribe, people who have gone through similar experiences and are of the same mindset. You don't feel the need to explain yourself or feel ashamed, because they get it.

We had a lovely dinner with friends on Saturday with three other couples that had one kid each. There was a commonality that offered a sense of comfort. Whining was usual, screaming was expected, toddler begging was commonplace. No one had to explain themselves or apologize, this was regular life, going on around us!

It was so nice. Then everyone's kiddos got cranky at the same time and that signaled the end to our evening. It didn't feel sad that we had to make a quick exit because Noah turned into a tired beast while the party continued without us. In other words, we didn't feel like losers.

Hooray for mommy & daddy friends! What a relief.

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