Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Two Canadians Raising an American in America

Small Human is totally Canadian. If he bumps into you he immediately says, "sorry!" and when he wants to go out it sounds slightly more like, "oot".  Yes, I'm kind of proud of this and I also think it's hilarious. Toddlers are pretty much your own personal mini mirrors, which can sometimes be frightening. When something is dirty he runs to me to exclaim, "Dirty, mommy, wash. Ew." He also says, "Wow, amazing!" when something piques his interest.

Crap, I've basically turned him into mini Lilibeth. I better bust out my Shakespearean training before I turn my son into a 35 year old woman who was greatly influenced by Nirvana, Clueless, Shakespeare in Love, and Harry Potter. Wait, actually, I don't mind that so much. I've got his dad to turn him into a science, math, space brainiac, so we're good.

Is it bad that he coerces me to go out by asking me to get "foffee"? Meh, he's a Seattleite, we'll take it one day at a time. ;)

Going "oot" for "foffee"

Monday, January 26, 2015

Nighttime Waker

Developmental changes must be occurring because Small Human wakes up every single night now after 3-4 hours of sleep. It is stressful and exhausting. It also really hurts when he wakes up asking for his dad. I always knew that motherhood would be selfless, but I didn't think it would be completely thankless as well. It makes me feel like an unpaid intern working 24 hours a day with no weekends.

It is now midnight as I write this, and I just sent my son away with no hugs or comfort after yet another nighttime waking. I am way too stressed out to care. My stupid life revolves around him, and he couldn't care less. I'm literally sick with a cold and fed up and tired, and I would very much like a vacation but I know that is not happening.

My heart isn't in this anymore. Today was a hard day.

Here is a quick read for those also experiencing rejection from their toddler.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Oh Noes!

For months now, I have been complaining about how my Small Human is in a major daddy phase. Yesterday though, after a particularly taxing day for both of us, he finally turned around. He hadn't slept much the night before, and even had the shortest nap known to mankind the following day, so the poor kid was running on fumes, but I was there for him. There were mini temper tantrums and meltdowns, due to exhaustion no doubt, but I stuck by him (mostly) patiently.

That night, he woke up yet again, at 1am, but instead of asking for his daddy he wanted only me. He fell asleep instantly in the big bed, and I was a happy snugglepotamus momie. I was happy, that is, until I started to feel very nauseous and my stomach started cramping up. I tried to transfer him to his bed but he only wanted, "Mom hugs! Sleepy!" I seriously thought I was going to puke all over my son and felt terrible having to leave him screaming at the top of his lungs at 4am so I could run to the bathroom from hamburger food poisoning.

Thanks universe, all I wanted was for my son to actually want me, and I had to wrench myself away! This is now the fourth time I have experienced a churning stomach from a hamburger here in Seattle. I always ask for it well done but always receive it quite red in the middle, so never again. I want to hurl just thinking about it so I will stop here.

Hopefully my Small Human will continue to need and want his mom. There is no worse feeling in the world than when the person you love more than anything in your life, that you have sweat and bled for, wants nothing to do with you. It's selfish, but I really like feeling loved back.

Happy Friday, have a wonderful weekend! I have a high tea date tomorrow and I am soooo excited!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Small Human is Two

Over the weekend we celebrated our Small Human's second birthday and it was truly a good time. Successful toddler parties consist of happy toddlers (7 of them!) and cake, so it was definitely a good one. Planning parties is my favourite thing of life, so now I am feeling some serious party planning withdrawal sadness. I wanted this year's theme to be airplanes and hot air balloons, and I think my little guy was pleased with it. I'm sure he would've been totally happy if we had just set a bowl of chips down in the middle of the living room, but this was was much more fun for Momie.

I made the cake myself once again, and mini cornbread muffins with hot dogs baked into them. All the food was toddler friendly of course, so there were chicken nuggets, chips, bananas, grapes and chocolate milk. The party favours were chocolate pops in the shape of 2's with a little airplane on them, and I am happy to say that he actually wore his birthday crown for five full minutes over the course of the afternoon. Winning! Here are some pics:

*Special thanks to Heather Maddock for telling me about these crowns, and Eric Paradis for buying Small Human the #2 candle. <3 Everything's from Etsy and Paper Source.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Two Year Old Birthday Haul

Every good Seattleite needs a cool bicycle and great coffee, and we have decided that Small Human should be no different. At the beginning of the year I managed to find a Hape Coffee Maker play set for $15 so I just had to buy it. How cute is this?

We also got him a Skuut bicycle, which he LOVES, but he's a little too small for it right now. That means we have to push him around on it, hunched over, for as long as he is giggling and saying, "Yay ride bicycle!". So of course, now my sciatic nerve is acting up, but my two year old is happy.

Have a wonderful weekend! We will be having a party tomorrow afternoon at our house with a bunch of toddlers, wish us luck, eeee!

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Please, Just Be Kind to Me

I'm totally that mom you see, walking to her car with a wriggling, screaming toddler tucked under one arm, car keys and humongous heavy bag on the other, and a strained smile on her face. I'm smiling because I'm scared that if I am grimacing, you will think I'm some kind of child abuser.

No, I can't control my kid, perhaps you would like to try? Yes, I am very, very, very embarrassed right now. I am trying my best not to disturb the world with our screaming and struggling. I am pretending to be strong and stoic.

Thank you to all the people who just smile knowingly at me or say some kind and encouraging words. I think we all underestimate how important it is to be nice to strangers, but you choosing to smile at us instead of giving us a dirty look, makes my day every single time.

My little boy is strong-willed and rambunctious, and I wouldn't change him for anything, but some moments/hours/days are truly hard for me, especially when the hard parts happen in front of people. So please be nice to the frazzled (or maybe seemingly calm) mom with her kid who is screaming and crying hysterically. It's probably a lot harder for her than it is for you, and she'd probably be very grateful for your smile.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015


Yes it's true, we seem to have a sleepwalker. It doesn't happen everyday, but three times in the last week, our Small Human opened our bedroom door, wandered in, and went to sleep on his tummy, twice on the floor in the hallway, once in our room. I woke up one morning to the sound of heavy breathing coming from the floor, only to find a cute little munchkin in a sleep sack, peacefuly passed out. I'm not really worried about it because I have to deal with so many other things from my son in one day, but it makes you wonder what's going on in that growing brain of his.

Right now we are dealing with periodic sleepwalking, 5 o'clock wake ups, 6 o'clock wake ups, and stalling for later bedtimes, which contributes to all of the aforementioned things. Here is a list of things my son has done, and it's only Tuesday:

  • walked down the playground slide, slipped, fell on his face, and gave himself a bloody nose 
  • while ready to go outside, jacket and all, he decided to climb into the bathtub to pour half a bottle of bubble bath on himself
  • he went behind my back and put toys in the washing machine
  • spilled a whole cup of coffee at a friend's house
  • punched me in the face (different from last week's head butting incident)

Being a mother to a toddler isn't easy, but at least it's not boring. All of that, on top of his tantrums, toddler negotiations, making meals for everyone, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning out Tidbit's kennel and pen, laundry, classes, play dates, working out, and birthday party planning. I'm a little tired. Happy Tuesday. xoxo

Monday, January 12, 2015

Date Night and a Great Weekend

It was a rainy but wonderful January weekend for us here in Seattle. Wonderful mostly because of good friends who were kind enough to watch Small Human while Brendan and I could have some alone time outside the house. We didn't do anything extravagant, just grabbed a bite to eat and watched The Theory of Everything. We even got to have some frozen custard afterward. It sounds so simple and banal but it was a very welcome break for this pair of toddler parents who rarely get to do what they want anymore, let alone get to do it alone. Thank you, Other Wilsons, for the kind gift! I really, really, really miss dating my husband.

We also attended an awesome birthday party for two year old twin girls that are nine days older than Small Human. That means next weekend is our turn!  My little guy turns two this Friday and I am so happy and shocked by it. Babyhood went by too quickly and now toddlerhood is flying by too. I guess there's nothing else I can do but try to enjoy every day with my little boy while he's still little.

Alright, this weekend wasn't entirely wonderful, if I'm going to be honest. On Friday afternoon I was head butted in the nose by my very excited son, which caused my nose to spray blood. I was certain I would have a black eye but was thankfully spared the unsightly badge of mom honour. I feel like I'm the only one this happens to, why is that?!

Happy Monday!

It's really warm in Seattle today

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Sometimes We Eat Too Much

I've never been a New Year's resolution type of gal. I usually prefer to improve myself/my life when it feels right to, whether that's in January or in October. I do however, like to start the improvements on Mondays and I have no idea why.

Anyway, I have completely jumped right into working out again, and it has nothing to do with the new year, but everything to do with the fact that I got kinda chunky over the holidays, oops! I was sitting on the couch Sunday night, watching Gilmore Girls after a long day of chasing my toddler, and realized that I had a fat roll around my midsection. WTF.

Without a doubt in my mind, I decided that Small Human's nap time would now be dedicated to exercising off that fat roll. I've been doing 30 minutes of daily cardio so far this week (it's only been a few days!), and alternating between yoga and weights afterward. I am in so much pain it's ridiculous but I love that feeling so much.

Now if only I could get Victoria's Secret to stop sending me those stupid catalogs so I can actually start to feel good about myself.

Fat rollsssssss

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Tuesday Tricks of the Magical Variety

My son is Harry Houdini. He came up to me and handed me a pee filled diaper and I was so confused by where it came from. Somehow, he had managed to remove his diaper while fully clothed. We are talking winter coat and overalls here. All the snaps in his pants were snapped closed save for the two right at the crotch. Incredible. He made me laugh so hard at a moment in my day where I was feeling really low and sad. My baby is amazing, that is all. Happy Tuesday. :)

Monday, January 5, 2015

Toddler Bed Chronicles: Part 3

Not a word of a lie, it is time for this week's installment of the Toddler Bed Chronicles, which is quickly turning into a mini series. We keep trying new things with our Small Human and the latest was putting a child proof lock on the fridge for our peace of mind. The baby gate on his door was only agitating him and making him start his day out badly, so we've decided that isn't the solution for us.

Sunday morning I awoke to cries of "I stuck! I stuck!" coming from the living room. I ran to the living room terrified of what I would find because of our once again, probably horribly neglectful parenting, but discovered a little boy who thought it would be a good idea to try to wedge his head under the couch. No big deal, just some childlike exploration right? That's when I got a good look at his face, and his mouth and cheek were red with blood!

I went into mommy crisis mode and brought him to the bathroom to clean up the poor wounded babe at 7:30 in the morning. When I switched the light on, it looked like a Sephora had exploded in my bathroom. It seems my "wounded" child had actually gotten into mommy's lipstick drawer, and the red on his face wasn't blood, it was Nars Velvet Matte Dragon Girl lipstick. Hey, it was dark in the living room, ok?

I hope you're all having a great new year! Happy Monday. xo