Friday, September 8, 2017

Living in The Sweet Spot

Alright, I think this is it. That moment in time you look back on fondly, even though when you're living in it, it feels like you're failing and struggling. When I'm old(er) and grey (maybe), and my kids are grown, I'm going to look back on these days of their little boyhood and feel that twinge of longing. Noah and Elias are such a handful right now, but honestly, the problems are little ones. Noah throwing a tantrum because I made him stop playing Astroneer (his daddy's video game); Elias throwing a tantrum because he has big toddler emotions; never getting to sit down until after bedtime because I'm washing sheets soaked with pee, washing 700 sippy cups, or the never ending chain of demands I get from my two little guys. "Mama can I have goldfish crackers please?", "Mama, milk! Milk! MILK PEESE!" "Mama there's a spider! No, don't kill it, he's my friend, The Mosquito Eater!" "Mama! Hug, hug, hug!" "Mama, when can we go to Hawaii?" "Mama, walk outside!"

It's taxing, and sometimes very stressful, especially when I've got things that need to get done, or we've got somewhere to be, but honestly, I love my life. My two boys are both so affectionate and sweet, I never want for snuggles or kisses! I never tire of the explosive giggles that occur every single day. I complain a lot because I'm tired and always cleaning and taking care of people, but I also get to read to two rapt little boys sitting in my lap, smell their freshly washed hair, kiss their fat little cheeks, and listen to their little chirping voices asking for more bedtime stories and more songs. I love them so much, and I'm so grateful for this life, for our health and our safety. There are so many horrible things happening in our world right now, so much sadness, we really need to find the things that truly make our hearts content.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Strange Emotions

I got stuck on Twitter today, reading articles about the loss of children. The perfect thing for a mother to read while PMSing, right? I cried over these other people's stories, of course, but it also made me realize something kind of horrible: I think the emotional pain I felt after my miscarriage was erased by the birth of my second son. That realization makes me feel like a monster.

When I started to miscarry, I was 9 weeks pregnant, and I don't think I had ever cried that many tears or sobbed so hard. I snapped at anyone who told me to "just try again", like it wasn't a big deal that my baby stopped developing inside me and died. Now, when I try to think of "my baby that wasn't meant to be" as we call it, I don't imagine an almost 2 year old running around, or fantasize about his or her life. Probably because if I had that other baby, I wouldn't have my sweet, little, fatso, eating machine, 17 month old, Elias.

Seriously, I just willed my hormonal self to cry about it just now, to mourn the loss that seemed to take a piece of my heart and soul at the time, and I can't seem to get there. I think I'm just in a happy place right now. I'm going to go with that, instead of thinking of myself as a psychopath monster.

I hope you all had a happy Pi Day!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Why I Named My Kids Noah & Elias: It Had Nothing to do With Michael Buble

The naming of people is actually a subject that sparks passion and coaxes strong opinions out of me. I've been asked several times now why I named my sons what I did, so I thought I would discuss it in a blog post. There was no real formula, but there were definitely several lists!

There are many reasons under the sun why we in western culture, choose to name our offspring. It may be for traditional reasons, like how some Jewish and Greek people name their children using the first letter of either the paternal or maternal grandparents to name their babes; or simply naming your child after a beloved relative that has passed away.

Nowadays, there is definitely the pressure to make the right choice. In the past, there didn't seem to be any issues with naming all the boys John, Michael, and James. (All names I love!) There seemed to be a list of "good, strong" names and people stuck with them. Today, it's all about being different and original, which can sometimes get annoying, but I'm a traditionalist. Parents need to see the big picture and think long term. You have to understand that you might be setting your kid up for a lifetime of hearing, "I'm sorry, what?", or, "How do you spell that?" I'm not talking about names that are culturally diverse, I'm talking about naming your kids things like, "Ribbon" or changing the spelling to "Tyffini".

When we chose Noah's name, I think I was about 8 months pregnant. My husband had drawn up a list of ninety-eight boys names, I kid you not. Brendan is nothing, if not thorough. We quickly whittled that down to ten favourites. Up until that point, I had my eye on the top ten baby name lists for both Canada and America, and Noah had never made the top ten. 

It never made the top ten until the year that our Noah was born, when it shot up to number one, of course. My generation views naming your baby something off the top ten baby name list as somewhat unfavourable, I guess cause we're all a bunch of hipsters that want to be seen as original, who knows. 

We named Small Human, Noah Anthony, after my dad, and Brendan's maternal grandfather, two men we love and admire. The name Noah means, "rest; wandering" according to Nameberry, and Anthony means, "priceless one". Plus I kind of dislike nicknames, and you just can't shorten Noah, which I love.

We chose the name Elias Brendan, because Elias has always been my favourite boy name, after Liam and Aiden, but for a time, every child being born was suddenly named Liam or Aiden. I had gone to elementary school with a blonde American boy named Elias Johnson, who was kind and smart and handsome, and so the name has always been associated with those positive traits to me. It means "Yahweh is God" in Hebrew, and its nickname Eli, I love just as much as the full name. We chose Brendan for obvious reasons, but also to honour my aunt (Tita Brenda) who passed away in 2014. It also means "prince" in Irish. Quite fitting for the husband of someone named Elizabeth Victoria, no? ;) 

Noah and Elias must be good names, because hilariously, Michael Buble named his kids the exact same thing, right after we did. Our goal was never to be 100% unique, because playing that game gets obnoxious, but it was to give our boys names that they would be proud to introduce themselves with. Whether they are garbage truck drivers, astronauts, stay at home dads, or famous sports stars, I wanted them to sound respectable and have good names they could live up to, you know?

Monday, January 16, 2017


77,000. The number of times I have tried to write a blog post today but kept getting overwhelmed, and interrupted by children/life. Small Human is 4 today! I started this blog the year that he was born, and it's crazy to think it's been that long since I've become a mother.

He's still Small, but he is definitely no longer a baby. His size is no indication of his presence though, he is a larger than life force of nature that I struggle to keep up with. I often get asked questions I do not know the answer to (already!), so Google and I have become best friends. My eldest son is smart as a whip, headstrong as a bull, knows precisely what he wants at all times, and thinks he knows better than his parents. I thought I had at least 11 more years before I had to deal with this.

Then just when I think I can't handle any more of the storm that is Noah, usually around 4 o'clock every single day, he proclaims in the car on the way home from his birthday car wash (he just loves them), that he is a very lucky boy and would like to buy the kids who don't have any toys, some toys with the money he saved up in his jar.

Basically, right when I think I'm failing because he has refused to listen to me all day, slapped his baby brother in front of company, insulted said company, and made unreasonable demands of both of his parents from 6am on, I feel like I just might have succeeded a tiny bit. Everyone warns you how hard parenthood is, and you brace yourself for it but it's so, so much more difficult at times than you could ever have imagined.

How did we celebrate our boy? At the zoo with the rest of the wild animals of course! He and his best friend, Keegan also happen to share a birthday, so we decided to share a zoo party together and it was a total blast!

This is how they play: violently

Best buds on the carousel

Snacking at Kuya Noah's birthday party

This boy is seriously fearless

I'm already embarrassing, apparently. :P

He's wearing not one, but TWO Birthday Zoo buttons, he was so proud!

Monday, November 14, 2016

Whirlwind Wilsons

You guys, it's been insane over here. A little while back we were told that we had to move out of our current apartment, which was a bit shocking, yet honestly wasn't the worst news because we've been wanting to move for some time now. The timing, however, is less than ideal, what with Brendan working (almost literally) 24/7 on his video game launching next month. How on earth does one mama search for a place to live with two young kids in tow? Well, guess what? We found a place and we move in next week. How on earth does one mama pack up a home with two kids running around like lunatics?!

It doesn't matter how because it has to happen, panic and stress attacks be damned. We actually got a bunch of packing/purging/organizing done today while Small Human was on a play date (that my amazing friend suggested and offered to host, so we could do this), and while Smallest Human had an epic nap. Brendan and I are not in the least bit pack rats, and yet it still feels like we have so much stuff!

We're excited and nervous for this new chapter in our lives, and it'll be great to finally have room for everyone. There'll be an office, a play room, even a guest bedroom, and Noah's favourite: a small, fenced in backyard. I know it's going to be great, but packing up all your things is sucky and stressful. Then there is the saying good bye part. We've made a lot of good memories here, but it's finally time to move on.




Sunday, October 30, 2016

Happy Halloween!

Alright, never in my life have I been that into Halloween. Maybe it's because I grew up in Montreal, where there wasn't a single night of trick or treating that I didn't have to cover my costume up with a giant winter coat (The 80s were a cold decade). Halloween was never like it was in E.T., where kids would wander the streets in full costume glory, comfortably, without having a parent drive alongside you so you could pop into the minivan to warm up (Yes, that happens).

Then I had kids. Small Human is ALL about fall and jacket weather, rain boots, and pretty changing leaves, and is super into Halloween. His favourite words are spooky and creepy. On top of that, I ended up having a second baby, born in October, which was a total game changer. So now I am all about Halloween, y'all. It also helps that our neighborhood has the absolute, coolest, most jaw dropping family trick or treating I have ever seen. It's straight out of some idyllic family Halloween movie, and the best part is that isn't cold.

As you may have read from a previous blog post, my boy had just had a bout of the stomach flu and had to stay home from school on Thursday, then sadly had to miss a pumpkin decorating play date on Friday, and also missed a cool birthday party at the pumpkin patch/animal petting farm on Saturday. Since he was finally feeling better, I thought I would indulge him in some cupcake making. His Auntie Eliza was sweet enough to drop off a pumpkin and pumpkin decorating kit and fun crafts, so we were still able to have fun without infecting the world.

This was my first time letting him help me bake in the kitchen if you can believe it, because Momie is a control freak. He was surprisingly really good and helpful, I was pretty impressed! I'm just so glad he's feeling better. Have a safe and fun All Hallow's Eve!

Super Momie and Super Spook


Dumping the Pilsbury cake mix

Elias wanted to see too

He was so good!

He turned the mixer on high accidentally but it wasn't too bad

Haha Elias' face in the background!
Spying on the cupcakes

My two loves, about to duke it out over this cupcake. :P

The purple was Noah's colour of choice. We had Snoopy cupcake liners too!

Thursday, October 27, 2016

My Apologies

This has been a really challenging year for us. I always like to try to keep things real, so you'll see no fake happiness, no overly saccharine proclamations of love, and no pictures of our family's perfect Sunday pancake brunch each week. However, my intention was never to make this a mommy blog meant to scare people away from parenthood, I only wanted to be genuine! Anyway, that was my long-winded way of saying: I'm sorry I'm so whiny all the time.

I love my life, I'm just really tired. If I could have a housekeeper, chef, and nanny, with weekly scheduled date nights with my husband, perhaps my life would be easier, but I'm proud of what we accomplish, just us two. Today though, I could've really used a household staff forreals.

Small Human scared the living daylights out of me while I was working out last night. He is my child who never wakes up, naps like a champion, and has been sleeping through the night since he was 6 months old. He had a mild fever, and refused to go back to sleep in his bed, only on the couch.

This morning we were awakened by his usual, heavy little footsteps, cries for daddy, and then the telltale, horrifying, gurgling cough of a toddler puking in our bedroom, and proclaiming that he had already puked in the living room. Good morning to us!

The rest of the day was spent trying to get him to barf in the barf bucket (and refusing to, preferring to vomit on the carpet), me accidentally feeding my sick son rancid crackers that only made him puke some more, and mopping up and disinfecting for what felt like hours and hours nonstop. All the while, trying to keep the little babiest human happy and occupied, and preventing him from crawling all over the hazmat spots in the house, and then looking away for a second and looking back to find him popping rabbit poop into his mouth. Poop, he will eat poop but not the damn organic baby snacks that I buy him from the grocery store where they sell edible food for people.

It's now a quarter to midnight, and I have a febrile little boy sleeping next to me on the kitchen floor as I write this blog post, because I don't have the heart to go to my comfy bed and leave him out here alone. I wonder if he'll remember this one day. Gotta go take his temp for the thousandth time. May you all be healthy and well!