Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Diaper Master

When Noah was a baby, I was shocked by the amount of poop I had to wash off all his teeny tiny clothing. He had blowouts several times a week, and silly me, I blamed the diaper brands. I'm not certain if this has more to do with the force with which your baby poops, or your baby's body in a particular type of diaper, but I'm starting to think it's because I was a rookie and putting his diapers on incorrectly (aka: like an idiot new mom).

Elias has never had a diaper blowout. He is the gassiest baby I have ever met, and I have changed some seriously full diapers with him, but not once has poop leaked out. He has peed through, but pee is so benign. Also he only really leaked through because we failed to change him in time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that after nearly three years of changing diapers, I am now a diaper changing guru. Is this something to be proud of? No, not really. Am I excited that I haven't had to wash poop off anything so far? Shyeah, you bet I am! Now if only there was some sort of award I could win for this.

Late night mommy-ing

Monday, November 9, 2015

Monday Madness

Madness. I wish I was talking about some awesome sale, or using the word ironically but I'm not. Today has truly been a test of my motherly sanity since 5:30 this morning. The baby woke up at 5:30, which meant that he had let us sleep for four and a half glorious hours! Well, it turns out that my boobs didn't think that was so awesome because I was slightly engorged, and 10 minutes into nursing my son, he vomited out a waterfall of milk all over himself, me, the pillows and bedding. FYI, too much foremilk is bad news.

We were both completely soaked, half awake, and now really frazzled. Having to do the whole wet sheets/clothes routine while sleep deprived in the early morning is a special kind of low. Even more so when you can't seem to soothe your baby to sleep, and then your toddler wakes up for the day. But then you thank your lucky stars for having a husband who changes the baby while you strip the bedding and wash your own breastmilk off your body, and who wrangles the toddler so you can get a bit more rest.

Apparently, the baby had indeed quenched his thirst earlier and not just puked everything out because he woke up after a couple hours angrily screaming his little lungs out. He had peed out his diaper and soaked through his pajamas, sleep sack, and bassinet sheet. Fabulous, more wet things.

I have since spent the morning recovering and doing laundry, all while keeping the fussy baby as fuss-free as possible, and keeping my stupid migraine at bay. Now I somehow have to try to eat, go to the grocery store, and pick Noah up from preschool, even though Elias won't stop crying or let me put him down. Oh man, I'm about to add a toddler into the mix. Madness, I tell you. Please excuse me while I go cry into my half eaten sandwich.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Now and Then

As luck (and Brendan's smart choices 6 years ago) would have it, everything we need is conveniently located within 3 to 4 blocks from our apartment. Before kids, if I needed to pick up something from the deli, get a latte, and drop off the dry cleaning, this meant that I could just walk outside and have all my errands done within 15 minutes if I dawdled.

Now, if I want to do those things, it takes a little more planning and effort. Here's how that same, seemingly simple morning task might go:

1. Put on pants. (I now laugh maniacally at everyone who needs to shower first to leave the house)

2. Prep the toddler by getting him excited to go to the dry cleaner's. This is hit or miss.

3. First cajole and eventually threaten the toddler to put his shoes and jacket on.

4. You both have mini meltdowns because you washed the jacket he wanted to wear and it's still hanging up to dry.

5. Prepare the baby carrier to put the baby in it.

6. Once baby is in nice and snug and safe, the baby poops.

7. Take the baby out of the perfectly configured ring sling to change his teeny tiny diaper.

8. The toddler is now bored and shot putting blocks across the living room and down the hall.

9. A block hits you in the face. You yell a little.

10. Everyone is finally dressed and ready to go. You realize you didn't put the dry cleaning in a bag, so you have to now do this with the baby strapped to your chest, and somehow all mostly with one arm because you're too scared to let his infant head flop around dangerously.

11. You're out the door! Now to wrangle your toddler on the city streets, to make sure he doesn't go running off in the wrong direction or run out in front of a moving vehicle.

12. Stop to inspect every single rock in existence, and field questions about who every person in the street we encounter is and what they are doing.

13. Run after your toddler to prevent him from squeezing neighborhood dogs, while holding baby's head and giant bag of dirty clothes.

14. Just drop off the dry cleaning because that is all you have the energy to do at this point, the baby is hungry again, and you can't remember what you needed from the store anymore anyway. Whatever it is, it's not worth it.

15. Go home, while still doing number 11, 12, and 13.

Total time it took to make a 3 minute trip: 40 minutes

We have to do this all again if I want to attempt going back out to the store to get what we need, but I will most likely end up asking my husband to pick it up before he comes home for the evening. Welcome to life with an almost 3 year old and a newborn!