Friday, October 31, 2014

Simple Needs

I know that I talk about this a lot, but it's a subject that is on my mind pretty often. It is so easy to forget about yourself and forget about what makes you happy. This varies from person to person of course, but I'll let you know what I have discovered to be my personal bare minimum when it comes to staying a happy mommy.

1. Having clean hair

It seems superficial but it doesn't actually have anything to do with how my hair looks, but how it feels. If I feel like my hair is greasy or smelly, you can be sure that I won't be in a very good mood. Dry shampoo can certainly help, but being a dark haired mama dry shampoo can still often ball up and make me look like I have chunky dandruff. Two days without washing my hair is the longest I can go, especially if I will get rained on and in Seattle you can bet that I will.

2. A little bit of makeup

I still need to feel pretty even if the only person who is going to be looking at me is a toddler who doesn't care what I look like. Putting just a little makeup on has the ability to make me feel beautiful and put together. Plus I enjoy doing it, which is reason enough. Bonus points if I am wearing lipstick! (Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil FTW!)

3. Cute shoes

In order to feel good about myself, I need adorable footwear. The shoes don't need to be fancy, just cute and they need to be easy to put on. My go-tos are usually my matching Chucks with Small Human, ballet flats, or sleek boots.

4. A creative outlet

Writing my blog makes me happy. It is a public journal of sorts and I need it to stay sane. I also need to constantly be improving things, whether it's changing the covers of my couch cushions, stringing up a new garland for the next upcoming holiday, or planning something like Christmas cards or birthday parties. I quickly become surly if I do nothing but sing Caspar Babypants songs and eat Small Human's meal detritus all day. Do things that you find fun too. I la-la-love writing and having a hot cup of coffee, or watching a movie after my little guy is asleep for the night.

5. Grownup time

I really enjoy having the chance to talk to someone without having to tell anybody to, "Be gentle!" or "Say thank you!". It is necessary. Girl dates and hubby dates are perfect for such interactions, and I always look forward to them.

Just because you're a mama, it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice everything about yourself. You just have to plan it more rather than doing it organically like you used to, but it can be done! Have a safe and happy Halloween, and a great weekend y'all!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Product Junkie

Most people would probably be surprised to learn that I am a product junkie because I don't look like I spend a ton of time primping and prepping in front of a mirror, but I totally am one. My problem, as with most beauty junkies, is that I am always on the lookout for the best version of something. The best makeup primer with staying power; the best non irritating exfoliating masque; the best highlighter that makes you look like a glowing angel. I find it to be the most fun and girliest thing in the world, and I will probably never stop.

However, this is not to say that I am a hoarder. No sirree, you will not find clutter in my bathroom! Luckily Sephora, where I get most of my products is really great about returns and exchanges, so I never feel like I'm wasting my money. If I have purchased a product that sucks it's never a problem, even after two months. They are having their big 20% off VIB sale next week and I am giddy with anticipation.

My main beauty obsession is skincare and keeping my face and neck healthy and moisturized, but my favourite makeup indulgence has absolutely got to be highlighter. Oh and blush. My main makeup goal in life is to achieve the dewy glow that Jessica Alba's makeup artist somehow imparts on her. It's so lovely. *le sigh*

Sephora and I go all the way back to 1998, where the first thing I bought was a bottle of the now discontinued Benefit Lighting, which was not surprisingly a golden highlighter and body shimmer. After that, I was hooked and we became BFFs.

Of course, you don't have to be beauty product obsessed in order to take advantage of the sale. Everyone needs shampoo and face wash, and Sephora carries those too, so it's a good idea to stock up on your necessities so that you don't have to buy them at full price when you run out of things. The code is GIFTVIB.

Happy almost Halloween!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Lilibeth the Ranter

My friends all know how much I despise the hashtag, despite actually being forced to use them frequently on social media to get my blog seen on the internetz. Let me first quickly explain the purpose of hashtags: They are designed to find a whole laundry list of whatever word or phrase it is you are interested in searching for. If you quickly want to scan for info on skincare, you can just type "skincare" into Twitter and voila, you have a plethora of useful (or useless) entries on skincare at your fingertips, courtesy of the hashtag.

When the use of hashtags made it into mainstream consciousness, people started to ridicule them and use them in a silly, very self-aware and tongue in cheek fashion. (e.g. #omgsodrunklol) Lots of people still don't get it, but that's not what my rant is about. 

I finally figured out why I find using "#blessed" and "#fortunate" so distasteful. It's because it comes across as bragging. Now, I realize that this may not be the hashtag user's intention, they may think they are truly expressing gratitude, but really though? You feel the need to tell the whole of the internet how grateful you are for the big pile of presents from your many adoring fans, complete with a filtered picture? You don't come across as a humble, grateful person, you come across as someone who is trying to pass off a post or picture of yourself being a braggart, as something more benign. It's funny, because if you had just left out the damned nonsensical hashtags, it would actually appear to be a genuine display of gratitude and sincerity.

My advice to these hashtag culprits is to practice humility (and prudence) and keep your pie holes shut. This was my Random Angry Tuesday Rant, cause sometimes you just need to. #yourewelcome #ktxbye 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Halloween Week

Happy Monday everyone! Small Human and I had our usual Monday morning toddler class today, and because it's Halloween at the end of the week they got to wear their costumes.

I can't believe it's been a whole year since I took my little elephant to class for his first Halloween last year. This time I was kinda lazy and dressed him as a Minion from Despicable Me, which meant overalls, a stripey yellow shirt, and the knit Minion hat that the street vendor in San Francisco knit for us last October. It still fits!

That also means that it is the anniversary of when he started walking. It's already been a year. I'm going to have an anxiety attack, this growing up thing is very hard for Momie.

What are your kids dressing up as for Halloween this year? I'd love to hear about it!

Giving me a dinosaur to play with

Last Halloween 2013

Friday, October 24, 2014

Messy & Annoying

I have had to work hard to come to terms with being a mommy to a messy little boy. My Small Human is very active, has a mind of his own and likes to exercise his will at will. It is exhausting some days but I have mostly come to expect and accept it.

It is currently 1pm here on the west coast, and so far I have had to vacuum the whole house, mop up spills, fish a book out of Tidbit's water bowl, put all the sweaters back on the coat hooks in the hallway, wash diaper cream off my toddler's hands and face, went to music class, fished a garden lamp out of a germy and murky fountain three times, gave my son a bath, handled a tantrum, threw a load of laundry on, and got him down for a nap.

They say that the key to living a fulfilling life is to create one that is filled with hard work that you truly enjoy. Is it bad that I mostly enjoy it in hindsight? Sometimes when I'm in the moment and my kid is trying to eat mud and drink pond scum, I get really stressed out and crabby. I know that he is not even two years old, the world is new to him, his understanding is still limited, and that I should be patient, but I am only human.

Once I have accomplished everything though, I feel so good about what I have taken on and what Small Human and I have achieved, that it all seems worth it. Yes, I sometimes want to scream and rip all my hair out and yell at my babe in frustration, but if I stop to think about it, I am so lucky to have this time with him. I wouldn't be able to give him my full attention if I was running to auditions every day, or having to rush off before he's ready to part with me because I have to be on set at a specific random time.

There are days where the only thing saving my sanity is the knowledge that one day he won't be mine. I will blink and he will be grown up with a family of his own somewhere, maybe nowhere near me. One of the hardest parts about visiting Canada is coming back home to Seattle where there is no family. We love the friends that we have made here, but it's really not the same.

We can deal with messy and annoying days, but the missing people back home is what's hardest. Have a great weekend everyone, don't forget to give your loved ones a squeeze. xoxo

He wears this hat everywhere we go

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Home, Sweet Home

Wednesday was our big travel night but we made it home without too much trouble. It felt easier than when we left because we didn't wake up at 5am for an 8 o'clock flight, which was nice. Today we are completely unpacked, clothes either washed, put away or hanging to dry, and ready to go to the dry cleaner. Everything seems almost back to our normal routine. Tidbit is alive and happy and also very fluffy and fat, so that is a relief as well. Thank you, Village!

It is pouring rain (right now) and I am not even a little bit upset by it because I'm hanging out with two very happy, huggable creatures, am wearing sweatpants (I own some, yes), and eating chicken bacon Alfredo pizza. It is a perfect afternoon. It is definitely an easy-as-the-movies-make-it-look-for-stay-at-home-mums kinda day.

Our last day in Toronto was a whirlwind, but I got to go to Shopper's Drugmart thrice, had Burger's Priest with my bestie, and made out with her newborn. Perfect end to our trip.

I miss you Canadian chocolates

Teeny weeny pretty Evangelia!

This is how you keep a toddler happy on a plane

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Oops, Rain

It seems like we Seattleites brought the rain with us, sorry! It has been really cold and rainy in Toronto, and as soon as we leave it is supposed to get warmer and sunnier of course. No matter where I am, I can never keep my hair cute, I give up.

I haven't had a chance to do any shopping yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will be going hog(town) wild at Shopper's Drugmart. The three things I miss the most about Canada are: the people, the sunny snowy days, and Shopper's Drugmart. I actually used to work there when I was in college, and it is most Canadian girls' happy place.

One can acquire all manner of Canadian and European toiletries, cosmetics and snacks at "Shopper's", things I can't get and most people have never even heard of in the US. Anyway, it's a place that started out as a drugstore and over the years, has evolved into a grocery store, photo place, and high/low end cosmetics store with a very rewarding points program to get you addicted. It is Lilibeth Mecca, and I go at least once every trip home.

Getting around to see everyone we want to now is not as easy with a baby, so we often have to scale it back, even though we'd really love to see all of you, we swear! Please, please come to visit us in Seattle, nothing would make us happier.

Not happy at Enoteca Sociale last night. No mum, it wasn't too loud there.
The new Jeffrey/Lilibeth selfie now includes a little lilibean

Monday, October 20, 2014

Partying and Mr. Bashful

We survived the plane ride to Toronto and I hear that Tidbit is doing well back home in Seattle so I have been able to breathe easy. We made it to the check-in counter at the airport with exactly two minutes to spare before the international flight cut off time, and semi-breezed through security with a toddler who acted like he was going to die because his crackers had to be put through the scanner.

The Small Human was incredibly hyper on the plane but only hit the call button once, which we consider winning. He slept for over two hours of our four and a half hour flight. Brendan and I were able to watch movies, eat snacks and drink, it was wonderful. (Like the old days!)

Friday and Saturday were spent schmoozing and partying, and thanks to my in-laws we were able to do this sans bebe. Already, we have had a really wonderful time catching up with people, getting ready to welcome more friends to the west coast, and celebrating a newly married couple. Not only that, but one of my besties had her baby girl the day we arrived, so if we wanted to, we could make a very sweet romantic comedy with the events that went on during our trip so far.

Also, Small Human gets super bashful now around people, and closes his eyes so he can't see anyone when he feels shy! It is very adorable but so strange to witness, when he used to be able to just play with anyone at all. Seriously, he would probably go home with friendly servers from restaurants before.

I have come to the conclusion that I am always mildly stressed out, but glad there is so much happiness this time around.

Friday, October 17, 2014

I Won't Freak Out, I Won't Freak Out

Alright, we are leaving on yet another jet plane. We're packed, prepared, exhausted, and our wonderful village is helping us to take care of Tidbit and make sure she is alright while we are away. Does this make me any less nervous? Not really. Am I relieved things are in order? Hell to the yes.

I'm excited for our family to see Small Human again. I feel so sorry for him when he doesn't get snuggled and spoiled by grandparents like most babies do, so it's nice when it happens. I love Canada so much, but how about from now on, Canada comes to us, eh? Wish us luck, see you on the other side of the border and have a great weekend. xoxo

Thursday, October 16, 2014

My Baby is Twenty-One Months Old

Small Human is fast approaching two and I am now in that obnoxious parent territory where instead of saying "He's almost two", I still sometimes spit out, "Twenty-one months today". Please, don't roll your eyes at the parents who do this, just pity them for clinging on to the babyhood of their rapidly growing child.

All of these milestones have really got me thinking the last few days, not just about our little boy, but of the evolution of our partnership. When Brendan and I met, our conversations and plans revolved around finding ways to spend as much time together as possible, discovering the innovative new thing to check out (Nuit Blanche!), or taking trips to NYC. Then it quickly changed into figuring out what engagement ring I would love, what colours our wedding theme would be, then what couch would best fit our first married apartment, and not long after that, what colour scheme the nursery would be.

In hindsight, each step went by so quickly, but I'm happy to say that I have enjoyed every bit of it thus far. There were obviously challenging parts, like planning a wedding in Toronto alone while Brendan started a new job in Seattle, or the birth plan that went out the window with an emergency C-section. The beauty of life is that it's difficult, but it feels so good when you can come out on top despite being knocked down a dozen times.

What's life like now? A crazy monkey jumping on that couch we painstakingly chose that is now kinda dingy and stained, pointing to our wedding picture and excitedly screaming, "Dat Mumum! Dat Daaa-daa!". Yeah, I'm cool with this.

Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

LOL Co-sleeping

Last week, Small Human was having trouble sleeping which was probably related to his starting to speak more. Naptime was a nightmare that totally didn't even happen one day, and bedtime was such a struggle that resulted in 10pm or even 1am wake ups.

That's when I got ideas in my head. For naps I would just hold him on top of me while I wrote blog posts or responded to messages. That was fine, sweaty and drool-filled, but it has since ended and momie got to have her snuggle time in. I thought I could try it for bedtime too.

Small Human woke up at 10pm, crying his little face off, so I took him into bed with me and snuggled my sweet little babe to my heart's content! I was so happy that I fell asleep with a big, goofy grin on my face. Until he woke me up 30 minutes later, squirming and kicking and pinching, while completely asleep. This happened every 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes. It was how I imagine sleeping with a baby chimpanzee would be like.

After only about an hour and a half of trying co-sleeping (yet again), I promptly deposited my baby monkey into his crib. He cried for a minute but slept peacefully til morning and so did I. I'm not really sure why people think co-sleeping is best for raising a healthy child, because in our house it would only result in a very crabby, sleepless-in-Seattle family who would probably all end up sick from lack of proper rest.

Verdict? I will not be trying that again in a hurry. Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

More Travel Stress

I am trying really hard not to stress the eff out about our upcoming trip back to Toronto. I both want to see people and don't want to see anyone at all, because almost everyone we know is in this one city. It is also probably the closest thing we will ever come to being celebrities, because our arrival is highly anticipated, only certain people who are in the know are privy to our comings and goings, our appearances are all rigorously scheduled, and we are in and out like the jet-setting Jolie-Pitts. Ok that last bit was added to satiate my own silly fantasy, but you catch my drift, it's more stressful than leisurely.

Learning how to relax and live in the moment has never really been one of my strong points. This will be our last free trip with Small Human cause once he turns 2 we'll have to buy him a seat, so I should just try my best to really enjoy this mini vacation as a family of three. We are going for our friends' wedding and it is sure to be a lovely time with amazing people. Who doesn't love getting dressed up and partying with friends you haven't seen in awhile?

Can you believe we leave in three days and I still haven't packed? Brendan and I have also resigned ourselves to the fact there is nothing we can do but be present for our hyper baby and do our best to distract him. It is totally out of our control so I'm just gonna roll with the punches cause I'm too tired to care. We have a rambunctious boy, we deal with it.

I honestly don't know if traveling is going to bring up any sad/scary memories of the last time we were in Canada, but I'm gonna try to hold it together. My OBGYN actually told me I was a bad ass for the way I handled everything (she didn't even know about the passing of my aunt and bunny), so I am going to hold on to the knowledge that I can be strong when I need to be.

Wow, can you tell how much traveling stresses me out now?

Monday, October 13, 2014

Giving Thanks

Back home in Canada where we are from, it's Thanksgiving. Canadian Thanksgiving confuses Americans, but it's pretty much the same thing only earlier. It always falls on a Monday, isn't quite as big of a deal as Christmas is, plus no one shops the next day.

For me, Thanksgiving was the holiday that fell around my mum's birthday, so there was always a lot of food that long weekend. Every year, my sister and I were in charge of making the mashed potatoes from scratch, so after twenty years of doing this, I now make a mean mashed potato. I wish I could say I make a mean pancit but sadly I do not. (Daddy, teach me your recipe already!)

I have to confess that I have been feeling a bit angry and bitter as of late, but for some reason I still feel very grateful to have everything that I have in my life. My life is great, I have no doubts about that, but oftentimes it can be hard to recognize and admit it when you focus on the bad events that have just recently ravaged your emotions.

Thank you to the special people who have taken the time to message me with your genuine concern and well wishes, and for those of you who have helped to ease my soul. Your kindness means more to me than any words can express.

I'm so thankful for the life that I am living. Not the life I aspire to have, or the life that I have lived, but the life that I have right now. It's perfect. Each day is challenging, taxing, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, but it's also happy, fulfilling, amazing, and full of laughter. I wouldn't change a thing.

Be well, and enjoy your Today.

Thanks :)

Friday, October 10, 2014

Growing Up and Birthdays

I realized something very disturbing this week. My Small Human has been looking a whole lot less small. He is starting to look and act like a big boy, and in a little over three months he will be two. I've been having a lot of fun planning his birthday party though! A theme has been chosen: vintage hot air balloons and airplanes. I have ordered sample chocolate favours to taste, and decided on a colour scheme of blue and grey with pops of red. There is a baby menu planned out and everything. It should be a good time!

Lately I have been feeling really on the ball, even though the week had a bit of a rough start. Let's just say that so far, October has been much kinder to me than September was. May it continue to be so, for me and for all of you! Have a great Octobery weekend and happy birthday to my momie, and happy Canadian Thanksgiving! xoxo

Happy October 12th birthday Lola! This one's for you! 

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

No Christmas Presents

We have decided that this year, we won't be doing Christmas presents. I love to give presents, but it's getting a bit ridiculous with the sheer number of people in our circle of friends and family. We love you all, but there's no way we can keep it up, sadly.

Small Human will still get the full Christmas experience though, and if you are a doting family member, obviously you can give him whatever you would like, but please know that we would be so happy just to receive fun Christmas cards from everyone!

All of our losses this year have made me realize that it isn't things that will make me happy (maybe temporarily), but it is the health and sincere happiness of all our friends and family and pets. Instead, maybe we can give gifts to the ones who really need it, like the homeless and the hungry.

Red Riding Hood

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The Morning Rush

Time management is not my forte. My schedule currently revolves around Small Human, which happens to work out fine for everyone anyway. Some mornings are more hectic than others because of various classes and playdates that we have every week, but we try our best and things mostly go smoothly.

It's tough, because obviously the little man can't get himself ready yet, so we have to deal with him first, and then ourselves, and to top it all off, we are all late risers. I'm great at planning out Small Human's snacks and outfits, not so great at my own.

Monday morning I left the house with no coffee, no food, and no water in my system. I didn't have to worry about my hair at least, cause I had just gotten it done the day before, so I brushed my teeth, threw on a hoodie, jeans and my Chucks, curled my lashes and ran out the door. This would have been fine ten years ago, but 35 year old Lilibeth needs sustenance now that she has a toddler to run after.

I'm not really sure how I made it through the morning, but I did. I nipped every impending tantrum in the bud, chased a bunch of toddlers, cleaned up after a bunch of toddlers (there was sand everywhere), and was beyond ready to leave after two hours, despite having a good time.

By the time we got home I was about to pass out, but thankfully Brendan and I have also been on the ball with the grocery shopping, so eating in a jiffy was easy enough. Anyway, our morning dances without morning outings usually look something like this:

8:45am: Small Human wakes up either chatting with his animals or crying. Dada gets him.

9am: The baby is changed and has had a cup of milk, keeping Dada company while he starts the coffee, feeds Tidbit and waters the plants.

9:30: Momie gets woken up because she is a lazy and tired lady. We eat breakfast together, Momie and SH still in pajamas.

When there's a morning activity it's more like this:

8:30am: Alarm goes off and I ignore it.

8:40am: I rip myself out of bed and get the baby, change him, give him milk and an outfit change.

8:55am: I try to get ready while someone tries to put the contents of my bathroom cupboards into the bathtub; he gets kicked out.

9:05am: I have 5 minutes to throw clothes on before someone starts screaming.

9:10am: Small Human will inevitably have a huge poop before I walk out the door.

9:15am: Leave the house running. Oops, no time for food or drink. Shoot, I'm screwed, how am I even running?!

I really need to learn how to wake up early. *whomp whomp*

He really likes to try to help me vacuum

He tries really hard, my sweet guy!

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Great Pumpkin Adventure

Alright it wasn't actually that great, but there were pumpkins, and life with our Small Human is always an adventure. This past weekend the Wilsons took the requisite fall family trip out to a pumpkin patch. The boys had a great time, which is all that matters to me. I am a city girl, and sometimes I get uncomfortable around too much nature. Laugh all you want, but I totally have a grass phobia. I'm not talking well maintained park and lawn grass, I mean crazy, long farm grass. Omg heebie jeebies.

Anyway, we took a hayride with a bajillion toddlers, and our guy was the only one who didn't want to be contained. I'm really glad Brendan was holding him, because if it was just me, I would've dropped him from all the squirming. The best part of the entire experience was seeing my husband with our son. My heart was exploding with happiness the whole time.

Afterwards we ate at a big chain restaurant for family dinner, and for those of you who don't know, I have made it my life's mission to try every American family restaurant chain. It was great, even though I only ate about 20% of my food because the portions were so humongous. I had a parenting win when Small Human willingly ate some ZUCCHINI. That was the vegetable that made him vomit all over his stroller two weeks ago, so this was an extremely brave move on my part. I think he enjoyed it because it was salty and breaded so the green part was hidden. Ah, toddlers.

Have a wonderful Monday and a great week ahead.

Momie's silly, signature picture head tilt doesn't impress Small Human

On the hayride

heart explosions

Friday, October 3, 2014

My Karma

I am pretty certain I got what was coming to me today. Apparently, when I was little, I was an obnoxious screamer and tantrum thrower. I do remember being that way, and I still remember the look my mother got in her eye when I was misbehaving in public. It was a murderous rage look that meant I had crossed the line.

Small Human received this look from me a few times in the span of thirty minutes. He had woken up really, extra early this morning after having gone to bed really, extra late last night, so exhaustion is to blame, but still. We had music class and all he did was whine, scream, cry, pull everything out of my purse, smacked his head on the floor on purpose, stole instruments from the smaller babies, and clung to me and slapped me.

We actually left class twice, but the first time he wanted to go back in so we did, and the second time I just needed to get him out of there. We couldn't even finish a short, forty-five minute class. When we got home I told him I didn't like him acting like that and I think he understood my displeasure because he would just cover his little face and cry. The whining never stopped even after we got home, and he was so tired he fell asleep on the dining room floor. When I picked him up to put him in his crib he woke up crying, wanting to be held and I completely lost it and yelled at him to go to sleep. I mean I really yelled, like a crazy, angry moose mommy.

I walked out of his room and there was total silence. He must have been so shocked and tired that he went right to sleep. Now it is not even noon here and I feel like it's 7pm already. I don't know how I'm going to have the patience to deal with today. I love him so much, but he drove me so crazy that it's hard to just let it go. The morning is over. It's almost the weekend. I can't wait for his Dada to come home. (Please come home soon, babe.)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Your very frazzled neighbourhood Lilibeth xoxo

Thursday, October 2, 2014


Wow, a major breakthrough just happened about 15 45 minutes ago. Small Human said "kaka", held his little butt, and gestured to his diaper caddy. FYI, never in your life will you care so much about what comes out of a person's rear end more than when you become a parent. I can pretty much guarantee that you will worry about it from the moment that creature pops out until I don't know when, puberty maybe?

This means we are potty training ready! It terrifies me to have to potty train a little man who communicates with me through grunts, pointing, babbling, and random English words interjected throughout. It took me about 30 minutes to write this last sentence because someone kept running to the fridge, pointing, grunting and yelling "milk please!", but then getting distracted by the chip in the paint that he created on the cupboard next to the fridge, obsessively pointing and saying, "Uh oh! Uh oh!". I try to get him back on track, "Do you want milk, little man?". Shakes his head, "Lights!" he says, and runs away to dance. This happened 5 times in a row, I am about to lose it.

Omg he's crazy, can this actually happen?! I think this is the sign that I have been waiting for. All of today's potty related occurrences have come about independently from each other, but never all at once. Ack, it's time.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Oh My Little Boy

My Small Human,

One day you will wonder why I took ten million pictures of you before the age of two, and that is because I never want to forget. I enjoy our time together each day because someday you won't be all mine as you are now, before your own plans and friends and your life take over. I take pictures because I know that time and age will slowly chip away at my memories, and they won't be as vivid and intense as I want them to be.

I don't ever want to forget your tiny, striped pajama-clad body, clinging to me as you fall asleep for your afternoon nap, drool covering my left shoulder; or the sweet, honey shea scent of your hair that I can still smell on me after I put you down in your crib.

I don't want to forget how small you once were, even when you are a tall man, with stubble, looking down at your Momie who once seemed so big. Right now you are my littlest boy, growing bigger every day, so you'll have to excuse me for wanting to capture that forever in pictures.

I don't want to forget how fat your cheeks are, or how big and smushy your diapered bottom is. One day, all the toys you love to play with now will be "for babies" and my heart will break a little. I am so proud of the person that you are turning into, sweet tempered (except for the tantrums!), always curious, independent and very persistent.

I love everything about you, the good, the bad, and the smelly, and I have the pictures to prove it.

Love always, Momie