Thursday, April 3, 2014

Monkeys, Hurricanes, and TV

It has been a rough week for the Wilsons, but we're getting through it slowly but surely. Noah woke up again last night at 1am and was ready to party. He had pooped too, which means that he's probably not 100% well. He only poops at night if he isn't feeling so great. He was happy though! Brendan put him to sleep after a long battle, because I just couldn't keep going anymore.

Then at 7:30am we were jolted awake by the most frightening sound. It was the sound of a baby that had fallen to the ground from high up, there was no mistaking it. I ran into the nursery and there was our son on the floor, clutching his fox, totally unfazed. My heart shot straight up into my throat I could practically taste it. And yes, we both realize how lucky we are that he wasn't hurt, trust us. Our monkey can climb out of his crib. WTF.

This kid is a destructo-beast. He's like a hurricane that can find anything and everything he isn't supposed to touch, or even things that he is allowed to touch, and can somehow turn it into something bad, all under fifteen seconds. I was lowering his crib mattress again when he managed to steal the Allen key set from my side, remove two, and play drums on the rabbit with them. (!!!!) When I took those away, in ten seconds he left the room and came back in with a tube of lip balm and my comb, chomping away on them happily before dumping them in the rabbit's water bowl, which he first tried to drink out of and then carry on his head.

I fully understand the appeal of television now. I was at my wits end because of the craziness. After that he was running laps around me in the kitchen, throwing his metal sippy cup, my Evian atomizer, and all my shoes onto the kitchen floor, all the while screaming crankily. He didn't want to read or sing and he didn't want to be held, but he was instantly calmed by Sesame Street.

I don't care if that's bad parenting, I just needed 30 minutes to make myself something to eat before I died. As of the end of this post small Human has been asleep for two hours and 10 minutes. 4 more hours until bed time. I really don't understand how people have more than one of these things.

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