Friday, November 1, 2013

Delusions of Grandeur

Yesterday morning was one of those TV sitcom mornings where everything goes wrong, and the audience laughs at the hilarity of one family's silly, daily struggles. This is how I choose to see my life on the hard days. Call me delusional or call me a genius, I don't know, but it helps me!

I woke up with clogged ears and a fierce sore throat. Yes, again. I was greeted by a happy husband on his way to work and mostly happy baby, who started to whine upon seeing me. After a few minutes, my also clogged nose cleared up briefly and I was met by a delicious aroma. By delicious aroma, I mean godawful aroma. My son smelled like ass. There is no other way to truly describe it.

By this point, I had just woken up five minutes before, was sick, hadn't had coffee, or even gotten my bearings yet (I am not a morning kind of gal). But by necessity, I had to strip down my poopy son who was leaking various juices down his legs from his saturated diaper, and dunked him in the bath. Fun times.

Did I mention his diaper rash came back from the diarrhea? Yeah, fab. Later the same day, my clingy baby, who wants to be picked up no less than 500 times a day, finally broke mommy. My back started spasming! On and off for the rest of the day, I had back spasms, while chasing my baby elephant and taking him around to the stores on 15th Ave. for Halloween. He was so cute, he made all the ladies swoon! Except for one lady, who told me that my baby was too young for the candy he was holding, to whom I responded with East Coast panache, "That's a rattle, lady."

Anyway, today has got to be better, right? I am hopeful. Happy Friday, friends, and happy November/Movember!



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