Saturday, September 14, 2013

Pootastrophe

There is no doubt in my mind that parenthood is the single most disgusting thing humans can ever experience with someone that you love unconditionally. It's just gross, but becomes second nature. It's really incredible!

At the end of our daily afternoon walk, this mommy decided to treat herself to a tasty little Friday snack from Bakery Nouveau. (Yay!) When we got home, everything was normal. I put my beautiful chocolate croissant on the table next to my laptop, and poured myself some water while Noah chilled out in his stroller, staring at me.

Except my baby started to scream and thrash around like he was on fire. I unbuckled him from his stroller and gave him a nice, big snuggle and kiss, put him down, and all seemed well. He crawled around the living room, happily playing with his "piano" and blocks.

Meanwhile, I sat down at the table and took a swig of water from my water bottle. I smelled poop. I looked around me, but there was nothing poopy in sight. No diapers, no stray dirty wipes. Weird. Then I took a bite out of my croissant. More poopy smell. Okay, was it was my breath? No, thank goodness. The croissant? Nope. But I still smelled a definite poop smell. That's when I looked over at Noah across the room. He had just turned around, and the back of his white shirt was smeared with creamy, spinach-y poo. OMG.

In one fell swoop, I managed to lay down a blanket, grab some wipes, and plop Noah down so I could undress him and wipe him down. SO MUCH POO. The bathtub was our next stop, and once he was clean, I thought the poo smell would go away. Only why did it still smell like poo?!?! I frantically looked in the bathroom mirror, and there was my answer. I had a thick schmear of already dried poop, down the underside of my arm, on my shirt, and caked into my watch. I was the poopy smell!!!

Once everyone and everything was finally clean, and the baby had fallen asleep on his own in the jumper, I was able to sit down, relax, and eat my chocolate croissant. Oh yes, you can bet that I still savoured all of its chocolately, buttery goodness, even after the pootastrophe. Mmm, motherhood.

Baby dragon crawling away

Unhappy, but clean baby dragon

His eyes are partially open but he is 100% asleep! (I didn't leave him there)

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