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Friday, October 24, 2014

Messy & Annoying

I have had to work hard to come to terms with being a mommy to a messy little boy. My Small Human is very active, has a mind of his own and likes to exercise his will at will. It is exhausting some days but I have mostly come to expect and accept it.

It is currently 1pm here on the west coast, and so far I have had to vacuum the whole house, mop up spills, fish a book out of Tidbit's water bowl, put all the sweaters back on the coat hooks in the hallway, wash diaper cream off my toddler's hands and face, went to music class, fished a garden lamp out of a germy and murky fountain three times, gave my son a bath, handled a tantrum, threw a load of laundry on, and got him down for a nap.

They say that the key to living a fulfilling life is to create one that is filled with hard work that you truly enjoy. Is it bad that I mostly enjoy it in hindsight? Sometimes when I'm in the moment and my kid is trying to eat mud and drink pond scum, I get really stressed out and crabby. I know that he is not even two years old, the world is new to him, his understanding is still limited, and that I should be patient, but I am only human.

Once I have accomplished everything though, I feel so good about what I have taken on and what Small Human and I have achieved, that it all seems worth it. Yes, I sometimes want to scream and rip all my hair out and yell at my babe in frustration, but if I stop to think about it, I am so lucky to have this time with him. I wouldn't be able to give him my full attention if I was running to auditions every day, or having to rush off before he's ready to part with me because I have to be on set at a specific random time.

There are days where the only thing saving my sanity is the knowledge that one day he won't be mine. I will blink and he will be grown up with a family of his own somewhere, maybe nowhere near me. One of the hardest parts about visiting Canada is coming back home to Seattle where there is no family. We love the friends that we have made here, but it's really not the same.

We can deal with messy and annoying days, but the missing people back home is what's hardest. Have a great weekend everyone, don't forget to give your loved ones a squeeze. xoxo

He wears this hat everywhere we go

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