Saturday, April 25, 2015

Very Different Saturday Mornings

Not too long ago, Saturday mornings were lazy, lovely, and sometimes boring. There was often brunch involved, and reading. This was how I liked it. This was how my husband liked it too. We knew it would come to an end once Small Human arrived on the scene, but we never imagined our Saturday mornings would ever go something like this:

6am: "DADDY. DADDY. WAKE UP. MILK." Brendan gets up to go get him milk and collapses on the couch while his son plays happily.

6:30am: "HI MOMMY! Mommy proud of Noah. Noah eat roni and cheese! Is in here." (points to belly) BYE MOMMY."

8:15am: "OH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO?" (obviously this wakes me up)

8:16am: I stumble into the bathroom to find my bathroom completely ravaged and smelling like manicures and Viktor & Rolf Flower Bomb. I peek into the living room and my orchid is on the floor along with what looks like an exploded jade plant.

8:17am: Small Human gets sent to his room while Brendan and I get to work cleaning the aftermath of a toddler.

He had spilled my quick dry top coat all over the counter, his pajamas, and even poured some inside my favourite and discontinued pot of lip balm. Then I discovered that the two makeup brushes he had been swirling around in my brand new pot of hand cream were also dipped in the clear nail polish top coat and hard as rock. The wooden handle of one of the brushes had been melted by the goopy, wet varnish. Two of my favourite perfume bottles were lying uncapped on the floor, next to my watch and a few mismatched earrings. Every lip balm stick was uncapped and looked like they had a bite taken out of them, and the pièce de résistance was the toilet water that looked like it was splashed all around the toilet in what was possibly, great fun.

Fun times. This seriously exhausted me so much that I promptly fell asleep again after breakfast for a few hours. This was my comeuppance though, because I used to pull this kind of stuff all the time as a toddler. In my family there is the still talked about incident of the lamb that I had poured perfume all over and had the gall to lie about, as it stank up my play room, proclaiming my guilt quite obviously.

At the end of the day, it's just stuff that got messed up and my son wasn't hurt. There are thousands of people dead and in distress in Nepal right now, which really puts things into perspective. Things are different now as parents, but we're still grateful, and still very lucky.

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