Thursday, December 12, 2013

Marriage During Baby's First Year

Sometimes I long for those lazy, cold-weather evenings, when my husband and I could just pop out at 8 pm for a late dinner at our favourite Italian restaurant. Actually, when I think back about the days of just going anywhere at all (near or far) without any preparation other than bringing a small bag and curling my eyelashes, it makes me feel happily nostalgic.

Except if I try to think about life without my Small Human now, I would rather be dead than live that life. You can't fully understand the words to "You Are My Sunshine" until you have a baby. It just sounds like a crazy person wrote the song, otherwise. Which makes sense, cause moms are crazy!

But how do you stay you, as a couple? Winding down for the day now comes with a baby play-by-play complete with pictures and video. It's fun to revel in the baby's cuteness and incredible abilities that become more numerous every day, but you can't forget about your partner. You two are in it for the long haul, long after the kids have left the house.

Don't forget about all the time you invested in each other in the beginning. The dates, the dinners, the snuggles and romance. Don't forget about why you're together in the first place and how you ended up here! Your partner still wants to spend time with you, even if you both feel exhausted and drained. The first year of baby's life is one of the hardest and can end in divorce. Extremely sad, but it's the cold hard truth.

What's even harder is when you live thousands of miles away from your family like we do, and no one can help you raise your child. They say it takes a village, and the work of a village is a lot for two people to undertake on their own.

Anyway, all I am trying to say is, for my expecting friends: relish this time to your heart's content. Be a bit selfish and enjoy your partner all to yourself! Go to all the movies, dinners, couple's massages at the spa, and have couch snuggling sessions with your partner and pets!

To all the new parents: You can do it! While baby can seem all-consuming, don't forget about the person you made that beautiful child with. Try to spend time with them like you used to, even if it's just a speed date of 10 minutes while the baby is distracted by the recycling, or taking the time to show each other you still appreciate each other after the baby is asleep. You can still have date nights in your house, that's what kitchens, sound systems, and televisions are for.

Never forget about your partner. Don't be complacent. Kiss every day.

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