These Are the Good Old Days

I was fortunate enough to have the morning and afternoon off from mom duties today. This is never entirely true because naturally, I still end up doing family errands, but it's definitely easier to do it all without the kids. I did treat myself to a manicure, however, and also decided to go to my favourite cafe near our old apartment for lunch.

This place is my absolute favorite little cafe in the city, and it almost serves as my Seattle anchor. It was one of the first places Brendan ever took me when I moved out west, and I just fell in love. It's homey, because it's in an old house in a completely residential neighbourhood, and there's a pretty vegetable garden and chicken coop out back, it's so idyllic. It's also the place that satisfied all my pregnancy cravings for both boys, and one of the first places we ever brought tiny, newborn Noah to when my best friend came to visit. We even had part of our first family photo shoot there!

As I sat down to eat my amazing sandwich and sparkling juice, I notice two women come in and sit down across from me at the big family style table, with their two little babies in car seats. Honestly, it wasn't that long ago that I first did this, but the fond memory of it made me burst into tears. One of my very best mama friends and I used to walk to the big park up the street every single day, and on some days, we'd brave the big hill down (and eventually back up!) to the cafe with our strollers, painful c-section scars, and our firstborns. It feels like a million years ago but it hasn't even been five! We thought life was so difficult with one new baby, how silly we were, (now that friend has THREE children).

I don't exactly want to live in the past, but wouldn't it be such a wonderful treat to be able to go back in time briefly, to all your favorite moments, and get to watch fondly with all that you know now? I suppose it's easy to look back on it with rose coloured glasses. Such is the magic of life, I guess.

Living in The Sweet Spot

Alright, I think this is it. That moment in time you look back on fondly, even though when you're living in it, it feels like you're failing and struggling. When I'm old(er) and grey (maybe), and my kids are grown, I'm going to look back on these days of their little boyhood and feel that twinge of longing. Noah and Elias are such a handful right now, but honestly, the problems are little ones. Noah throwing a tantrum because I made him stop playing Astroneer (his daddy's video game); Elias throwing a tantrum because he has big toddler emotions; never getting to sit down until after bedtime because I'm washing sheets soaked with pee, washing 700 sippy cups, or the never ending chain of demands I get from my two little guys. "Mama can I have goldfish crackers please?", "Mama, milk! Milk! MILK PEESE!" "Mama there's a spider! No, don't kill it, he's my friend, The Mosquito Eater!" "Mama! Hug, hug, hug!" "Mama, when can we go to Hawaii?" "Mama, walk outside!"

It's taxing, and sometimes very stressful, especially when I've got things that need to get done, or we've got somewhere to be, but honestly, I love my life. My two boys are both so affectionate and sweet, I never want for snuggles or kisses! I never tire of the explosive giggles that occur every single day. I complain a lot because I'm tired and always cleaning and taking care of people, but I also get to read to two rapt little boys sitting in my lap, smell their freshly washed hair, kiss their fat little cheeks, and listen to their little chirping voices asking for more bedtime stories and more songs. I love them so much, and I'm so grateful for this life, for our health and our safety. There are so many horrible things happening in our world right now, so much sadness, we really need to find the things that truly make our hearts content.

Strange Emotions

I got stuck on Twitter today, reading articles about the loss of children. The perfect thing for a mother to read while PMSing, right? I cried over these other people's stories, of course, but it also made me realize something kind of horrible: I think the emotional pain I felt after my miscarriage was erased by the birth of my second son. That realization makes me feel like a monster.

When I started to miscarry, I was 9 weeks pregnant, and I don't think I had ever cried that many tears or sobbed so hard. I snapped at anyone who told me to "just try again", like it wasn't a big deal that my baby stopped developing inside me and died. Now, when I try to think of "my baby that wasn't meant to be" as we call it, I don't imagine an almost 2 year old running around, or fantasize about his or her life. Probably because if I had that other baby, I wouldn't have my sweet, little, fatso, eating machine, 17 month old, Elias.

Seriously, I just willed my hormonal self to cry about it just now, to mourn the loss that seemed to take a piece of my heart and soul at the time, and I can't seem to get there. I think I'm just in a happy place right now. I'm going to go with that, instead of thinking of myself as a psychopath monster.

I hope you all had a happy Pi Day!

Why I Named My Kids Noah & Elias: It Had Nothing to do With Michael Buble

The naming of people is actually a subject that sparks passion and coaxes strong opinions out of me. I've been asked several times now why I named my sons what I did, so I thought I would discuss it in a blog post. There was no real formula, but there were definitely several lists!

There are many reasons under the sun why we in western culture, choose to name our offspring. It may be for traditional reasons, like how some Jewish and Greek people name their children using the first letter of either the paternal or maternal grandparents to name their babes; or simply naming your child after a beloved relative that has passed away.

Nowadays, there is definitely the pressure to make the right choice. In the past, there didn't seem to be any issues with naming all the boys John, Michael, and James. (All names I love!) There seemed to be a list of "good, strong" names and people stuck with them. Today, it's all about being different and original, which can sometimes get annoying, but I'm a traditionalist. Parents need to see the big picture and think long term. You have to understand that you might be setting your kid up for a lifetime of hearing, "I'm sorry, what?", or, "How do you spell that?" I'm not talking about names that are culturally diverse, I'm talking about naming your kids things like, "Ribbon" or changing the spelling to "Tyffini".

When we chose Noah's name, I think I was about 8 months pregnant. My husband had drawn up a list of ninety-eight boys names, I kid you not. Brendan is nothing, if not thorough. We quickly whittled that down to ten favourites. Up until that point, I had my eye on the top ten baby name lists for both Canada and America, and Noah had never made the top ten. 

It never made the top ten until the year that our Noah was born, when it shot up to number one, of course. My generation views naming your baby something off the top ten baby name list as somewhat unfavourable, I guess cause we're all a bunch of hipsters that want to be seen as original, who knows. 

We named Small Human, Noah Anthony, after my dad, and Brendan's maternal grandfather, two men we love and admire. The name Noah means, "rest; wandering" according to Nameberry, and Anthony means, "priceless one". Plus I kind of dislike nicknames, and you just can't shorten Noah, which I love.

We chose the name Elias Brendan, because Elias has always been my favourite boy name, after Liam and Aiden, but for a time, every child being born was suddenly named Liam or Aiden. I had gone to elementary school with a blonde American boy named Elias Johnson, who was kind and smart and handsome, and so the name has always been associated with those positive traits to me. It means "Yahweh is God" in Hebrew, and its nickname Eli, I love just as much as the full name. We chose Brendan for obvious reasons, but also to honour my aunt (Tita Brenda) who passed away in 2014. It also means "prince" in Irish. Quite fitting for the husband of someone named Elizabeth Victoria, no? ;) 

Noah and Elias must be good names, because hilariously, Michael Buble named his kids the exact same thing, right after we did. Our goal was never to be 100% unique, because playing that game gets obnoxious, but it was to give our boys names that they would be proud to introduce themselves with. Whether they are garbage truck drivers, astronauts, stay at home dads, or famous sports stars, I wanted them to sound respectable and have good names they could live up to, you know?

Fournado!

77,000. The number of times I have tried to write a blog post today but kept getting overwhelmed, and interrupted by children/life. Small Human is 4 today! I started this blog the year that he was born, and it's crazy to think it's been that long since I've become a mother.

He's still Small, but he is definitely no longer a baby. His size is no indication of his presence though, he is a larger than life force of nature that I struggle to keep up with. I often get asked questions I do not know the answer to (already!), so Google and I have become best friends. My eldest son is smart as a whip, headstrong as a bull, knows precisely what he wants at all times, and thinks he knows better than his parents. I thought I had at least 11 more years before I had to deal with this.

Then just when I think I can't handle any more of the storm that is Noah, usually around 4 o'clock every single day, he proclaims in the car on the way home from his birthday car wash (he just loves them), that he is a very lucky boy and would like to buy the kids who don't have any toys, some toys with the money he saved up in his jar.

Basically, right when I think I'm failing because he has refused to listen to me all day, slapped his baby brother in front of company, insulted said company, and made unreasonable demands of both of his parents from 6am on, I feel like I just might have succeeded a tiny bit. Everyone warns you how hard parenthood is, and you brace yourself for it but it's so, so much more difficult at times than you could ever have imagined.

How did we celebrate our boy? At the zoo with the rest of the wild animals of course! He and his best friend, Keegan also happen to share a birthday, so we decided to share a zoo party together and it was a total blast!

This is how they play: violently

Best buds on the carousel

Snacking at Kuya Noah's birthday party

This boy is seriously fearless

I'm already embarrassing, apparently. :P

He's wearing not one, but TWO Birthday Zoo buttons, he was so proud!

Whirlwind Wilsons

You guys, it's been insane over here. A little while back we were told that we had to move out of our current apartment, which was a bit shocking, yet honestly wasn't the worst news because we've been wanting to move for some time now. The timing, however, is less than ideal, what with Brendan working (almost literally) 24/7 on his video game launching next month. How on earth does one mama search for a place to live with two young kids in tow? Well, guess what? We found a place and we move in next week. How on earth does one mama pack up a home with two kids running around like lunatics?!

It doesn't matter how because it has to happen, panic and stress attacks be damned. We actually got a bunch of packing/purging/organizing done today while Small Human was on a play date (that my amazing friend suggested and offered to host, so we could do this), and while Smallest Human had an epic nap. Brendan and I are not in the least bit pack rats, and yet it still feels like we have so much stuff!

We're excited and nervous for this new chapter in our lives, and it'll be great to finally have room for everyone. There'll be an office, a play room, even a guest bedroom, and Noah's favourite: a small, fenced in backyard. I know it's going to be great, but packing up all your things is sucky and stressful. Then there is the saying good bye part. We've made a lot of good memories here, but it's finally time to move on.

2013

2014

2015

Happy Halloween!

Alright, never in my life have I been that into Halloween. Maybe it's because I grew up in Montreal, where there wasn't a single night of trick or treating that I didn't have to cover my costume up with a giant winter coat (The 80s were a cold decade). Halloween was never like it was in E.T., where kids would wander the streets in full costume glory, comfortably, without having a parent drive alongside you so you could pop into the minivan to warm up (Yes, that happens).

Then I had kids. Small Human is ALL about fall and jacket weather, rain boots, and pretty changing leaves, and is super into Halloween. His favourite words are spooky and creepy. On top of that, I ended up having a second baby, born in October, which was a total game changer. So now I am all about Halloween, y'all. It also helps that our neighborhood has the absolute, coolest, most jaw dropping family trick or treating I have ever seen. It's straight out of some idyllic family Halloween movie, and the best part is that isn't cold.

As you may have read from a previous blog post, my boy had just had a bout of the stomach flu and had to stay home from school on Thursday, then sadly had to miss a pumpkin decorating play date on Friday, and also missed a cool birthday party at the pumpkin patch/animal petting farm on Saturday. Since he was finally feeling better, I thought I would indulge him in some cupcake making. His Auntie Eliza was sweet enough to drop off a pumpkin and pumpkin decorating kit and fun crafts, so we were still able to have fun without infecting the world.

This was my first time letting him help me bake in the kitchen if you can believe it, because Momie is a control freak. He was surprisingly really good and helpful, I was pretty impressed! I'm just so glad he's feeling better. Have a safe and fun All Hallow's Eve!

Super Momie and Super Spook

Goofball

Dumping the Pilsbury cake mix

Elias wanted to see too

He was so good!

He turned the mixer on high accidentally but it wasn't too bad

Haha Elias' face in the background!

Spying on the cupcakes

My two loves, about to duke it out over this cupcake. :P

The purple was Noah's colour of choice. We had Snoopy cupcake liners too!

My Apologies

This has been a really challenging year for us. I always like to try to keep things real, so you'll see no fake happiness, no overly saccharine proclamations of love, and no pictures of our family's perfect Sunday pancake brunch each week. However, my intention was never to make this a mommy blog meant to scare people away from parenthood, I only wanted to be genuine! Anyway, that was my long-winded way of saying: I'm sorry I'm so whiny all the time.

I love my life, I'm just really tired. If I could have a housekeeper, chef, and nanny, with weekly scheduled date nights with my husband, perhaps my life would be easier, but I'm proud of what we accomplish, just us two. Today though, I could've really used a household staff forreals.

Small Human scared the living daylights out of me while I was working out last night. He is my child who never wakes up, naps like a champion, and has been sleeping through the night since he was 6 months old. He had a mild fever, and refused to go back to sleep in his bed, only on the couch.

This morning we were awakened by his usual, heavy little footsteps, cries for daddy, and then the telltale, horrifying, gurgling cough of a toddler puking in our bedroom, and proclaiming that he had already puked in the living room. Good morning to us!

The rest of the day was spent trying to get him to barf in the barf bucket (and refusing to, preferring to vomit on the carpet), me accidentally feeding my sick son rancid crackers that only made him puke some more, and mopping up and disinfecting for what felt like hours and hours nonstop. All the while, trying to keep the little babiest human happy and occupied, and preventing him from crawling all over the hazmat spots in the house, and then looking away for a second and looking back to find him popping rabbit poop into his mouth. Poop, he will eat poop but not the damn organic baby snacks that I buy him from the grocery store where they sell edible food for people.

It's now a quarter to midnight, and I have a febrile little boy sleeping next to me on the kitchen floor as I write this blog post, because I don't have the heart to go to my comfy bed and leave him out here alone. I wonder if he'll remember this one day. Gotta go take his temp for the thousandth time. May you all be healthy and well!

You're Not a Failure, You're Doing a Great Job

Sometimes I feel like a complete and utter failure as a mother. I'm not fishing for compliments or looking for reassurance, I'm just putting it out there. There are some days where I think I just suck, and you know what? That's ok. I know you all probably think you royally suck too, sometimes.

There is a lot of pressure nowadays as a parent. You're either too much of a Perfect Pinterest mom that everyone else hates; or you're the antisocial mom who is uncomfortable with play dates; you may be too stressed about your parenting choices and feeling judged all the damn time; or generally feeling like nothing is going the way you thought things would or should go. And there seems to be a lot of really annoying, unsolicited advice all the time too.

I know I'm feeling this way because I need to sleep, and because I need a babysitter (what's new??). Life is challenging right now, raising two kids, one of whom doesn't know how to sleep, and with a husband who works as hard as he does for us, often at work until past midnight. It's tough, but you just keep going, and to keep sane you have to take a step back and look at all the things you are doing right too.

Things I'm Doing Ok At:

• my small humans are alive, healthy, clean, warm, and fed
• I was able to fix the loose toilet seat in my bathroom by myself

How Can I Add Joy To My Life?:

• treat myself to a Big Mac with extra sauce
• when I feel like yelling at my kids, close my eyes and take a deep yoga breath and count to 10, because it always feels awful to yell at my beautiful children
• take a moment to write a blog post

My lower back muscles are spasming right now, but I need to get back to mom life before my house gets destroyed by Typhoon Noah and Hurricane Elias. You're not a failure, you're doing a great job.

Fresh Perspective

There's really nothing better than getting some time away from your children when you're a stay at home parent. Small Human is in summer camp five days a week, for just four hours a day, but it honestly helps me to recharge and allows me to see things with fresh eyes. I discovered some green paint caked into the links of my watch, and instead of being annoyed or stressed out about it, I thought, "Awww, this was from the other day when I lifted Noah into the car and he was covered in fresh green paint from one of his camp projects!" A very different reaction from the day of, when he smeared green paint all over my white car and its tan interior. I was not a happy mommy

Then this afternoon, for the first time in a very stressful and hectic couple of weeks, I finally just breathed a huge sigh of relief. Tidbit, my rabbit of 8 years is on the mend from her annual shedding/digestive troubles; both my boys are napping; I'm showered, fed, and caffeinated, and I feel, dare I say it, happy.

I adore my family, but in order to keep my sanity, I need a break. A reprieve from the whining and the crying, the nursing and the feeding; a break from being touched all day, every day, and from the constant questions and never ending needs. Don't get me wrong, the stress hasn't been erased and there is always some new stressor on the horizon, but it's now a little bit more manageable today. Sometimes, a girl just needs to think about something fun and vapid like what toenail polish she wants to put on her toes next, ya know?

Oftentimes, I wish that what I did was more valued by society. I work just as hard as people in the workforce, but being a mother and only a mother is seen as giving up on a career, giving up on one's life, or not contributing. I have no regrets whatsoever, and I can't single-handedly change the world, so I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

My Mom Bod and Keeping Healthy

This is a bit of a terrifying blog post for me to write, because it's about my body, and I find that women's bodies on the internet are such a source of contention. So much shaming goes on that I'm almost confused when I meet someone who isn't self deprecating or completely insecure.

Since becoming a mother, I have been unhappy with my body. I loved being pregnant both times, but both times I also gained more weight than the randomly allotted 25 lbs you're "supposed" to gain during pregnancy. It is sad that so many mothers feel this way when we have just done something truly miraculous with our bodies. A life was created, grown, and brought into the world through these bodies that we love to bash and criticize. Why aren't we more proud of ourselves?

I was tired of feeling tired and unhappy, so I decided to start exercising again. I haven't done much in terms of dieting because I love to eat and I love to eat a lot, but I have been eating more greens and trying to eat less fast food (but I still love my occasional Big Macs). Honestly, I don't have a whole lot of time to exercise, but I try to get 20 - 30 minutes a day in of something, whether it's cycling, yoga, pilates, or some random squats, planks, push-ups, and dips. The important thing for me is to get my body moving. I don't measure my heart rate, I just measure whether or not I'm sweating and breathing hard!

Back at the end of March, I purchased a Fitbit, to help me track my steps in a day and encourage/entice/force me to get moving. Sometimes it really isn't easy, especially since my 9 month old only just started sleeping through the night this week. So if I can do it, anyone can.

When I started to exercise again at the end of March I was 135 lbs, and now I am 117 lbs. It doesn't sound like much, but keep in mind that I'm just barely 5'3". Anyway, the point wasn't to lose a ton of weight, the point was to feel confident in my own body again, and to feel healthier and happier, and I am. One of my dearest mom friends told me that in order to make something a part of your life, you have to turn it into a habit, which takes 21 days. If you think this might be something you want to try, challenge yourself and do something good for yourself for 21 days, it couldn't hurt to try right?

This is so scary for me, but here is a before and after pic. I took it to prove to myself that I succeeded, and so that I can finally shut my pie hole and stop bashing myself, because there is nothing to bash! This is me, this is my body. It carried my two sons, endured one labour, two c-sections, a miscarriage, has fully healed, and allows me to play, run after, and take care of my family. And you know what? I am proud of it.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend, friends. xoxo

Progress over 3 months

It's Tough Right Now

Life is kind of tough for me right now. I'm giving all of me, everything I have to give. I'm tired from not sleeping, gross from not showering as much as I'd like, and not getting to wash my bed sheets as often as I want to. I'm exhausted from trying my best to answer 300 questions a day from my eager to learn, very precocious toddler; I'm tired of being everything to the little baby, who cries like a banshee when momie's not holding him. There is always a drink to get somebody, food that is needed by someone, a mess to clean up, a butt to wipe, laundry to attend to, much needed supplies to refill, and you know, somehow taking care of my own basic human needs too.

There is really nothing I can do but keep trudging on, keep on going until I can get even the tiniest break. Whether it's hiding in the bathroom for 5 minutes, or getting to exercise while one or both of the boys are asleep, it's so necessary for me to keep sane and help me recharge.

Life could be completely different though. When the little baby is not sleeping through the night and crying non stop because of his teeth, I have to remind myself that this may not even have happened at all. For a brief but heartbreaking moment, I thought I wouldn't be able to have this all again, and it was something I wanted so desperately. I'm so very grateful to have had the ability to do this again!

I try to remember, when I've had enough and I want to rip all my (greasy) hair out because I'm being touched by tiny people all day, getting frustrated by nobody listening to me, and when I'm being prevented from resting like a normal human being overnight, that this will one day all end. One day, no one will ask me the best and funniest questions because they are trying to figure life out; no one will cry because I'm not in view; no one will think that my hug and kiss are all that is required to make them feel better. They'll be able to get their own food, wash their own, no longer little bodies, even take themselves to school, and I can guarantee you (because I know myself) that I will miss it and ache for it! It's a difficult thing to remember when you're right in the thick of the sleepless nights, and trying to meet the needs of small humans all day long.

So if you're wondering where I've been, that is where. We still have great fun too, of course! But it's definitely the hardest I have ever worked and I often feel brain dead. I look forward to reading this again in the future and laughing it off, but for now, it's my little moment of catharsis. Thanks for sharing in this moment with me.

Relaxing Shower?

Last night after dinner and before the boys' bedtime, I decided to take a shower. Brendan was still en route from Boston to Seattle at that point, so it was just me and the small humans. I've been working out and sweating more, so I just wanted to get showering out of the way early without risking waking one or both of them up later since our place is pretty small.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to attempt a shower with a toddler and a baby, it goes something like this:

• Turn on The Incredibles so Noah will be distracted. It works for about two peaceful minutes
• Elias starts to whine, so I sing You are my Sunshine from inside the shower, on loop
• Noah barges in and asks me 75,000 questions like, "Why is water wet?" and "Mommy, where is your penis?"
• Then the toddler announces he has to poop, and that "it's gonna be a stinky one" (he was right)
• The baby starts screaming. My baby is the loudest screamer I have ever encountered in my life. It is seriously unreal and deafening, so you can imagine how pleasant this was in a tiny enclosed space
• While Elias screams, Noah starts to freak out about how his butt is itchy and also starts screaming
• OMG I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A SHOWER
• I have to quickly finish up to calm the screaming baby and clean the little boy's butt, and have been instructed by my bossy boy to "dry off completely so you don't get water all over me". 

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you take a shower with a baby and a toddler. It's 0% relaxing, 50% kinda stressful, 50% necessary only if you're absolutely crazy.

I Did It

Brendan has been working hard for us as usual, and this past week he has been away on the east coast, Boston to be exact, at PAX East, a gaming expo. While he's been working on promoting their upcoming video game (Astroneer), I've been holding down the fort at home, and doing an awesome job (mostly).

I'm embarrassingly proud of myself for parenting alone for almost a whole week. Both kids are happy, healthy, engaged, not destroying my home, and we've been doing fun activities and going on outings. I pretty much rocked parenting until today, even though I haven't been getting much sleep. Today the clothes dryer stopped working, I ran out of coffee grounds because my subscription isn't arriving until tomorrow, and it hasn't stopped raining since 6:30am.

It's alright though, because of this one glorious little app on my phone called Postmates. I think the company is based out of San Francisco, and it's basically a delivery service for almost anything you can think of. Today, they brought me sanity in the form of McDonald's hot cakes for Noah and a sausage egg McMuffin meal for momie, complete with a giant coffee.

When the delivery guy arrived, Noah was so excited, and in true toddler fashion exclaimed, "Hey! You are a man and you are bringing us food and a BIG coffee for mumum! I don't drink coffee, I'm too wittle. You are a nice man, fank you!" Why is he so funny? Happy Sunday everyone, may your coffee cups be full and your children happy.

Busy Life With Two

I know, I know, where the heck have I been? I'm not going to lie, I've been feeling beat down by life the last couple of months. Sleep hasn't been plentiful in our house, but tantrums have been. It feels like there aren't enough hours in a day to do everything that needs to be done, but also like bedtime can't get here fast enough. My house is never completely clean, always smells a little funny, and it seems like the laundry never, ever ends.

Here's a quick update of what's gone down since I last posted:

• Noah had his first ear infection and was the loudest, most miserable sick person I have ever encountered in my life.
• Elias is teething, so he has been waking up every two hours during the night, like a newborn, poor cranky baby. He is a total momie's boy, and clings to me like no tomorrow.
• Brendan has been working hard as usual and was gone for a week in March, and will be again later this month.
• I started working out again to lose the baby weight. 
• We've been dealing with Noah forcefully asserting his will, and lemme tell you, he is very strong willed.
• Had a couple of tearful preschool drop offs, which was so sad and uncharacteristic.
• Noah started soccer classes.

Life has been good too, though! Noah's personality is really starting to shine through, and when he's not being obstinate, he is seriously so much fun. When we go out to the store, he always likes to "pay" when we're done. He brings along my old (metallic gold!) wallet filled with business cards and old gift cards, and swipes them on the keypad when we check out.

Eli has been getting exponentially cuter too, laughing at his big brother's antics and talking all the time. He's always so curious about everything, it's really beautiful to watch.

We've got family here this week for Elias' baptism, so it's going to be fun. It will also be a relief to have a couple extra pairs of hands to help us!  

Today in Hump Day News

1. I woke up nearly every hour on the hour last night. I'm fully a mombie today.

2. Sun can make almost any day brighter, both literally (obvi) and figuratively.

3. Being in walking distance of an amazing park is the best thing EVAR for a mommy of young kids.

4. My eldest is way too independent for his own good; he straight up left me to go potty halfway across the park without telling me first, I almost had a stroke.

5. Had the new smoked butterscotch latte, on ice, because I needed a sugar and caffeine rush and it's warm out. It was aiight.

6. Our apartment smells gross and I don't know why.

7. Teriyaki flavoured SPAM is bomb.

That is all, carry on. Happy Wednesday. OMG it's not Wednesday, it's Thursday.

TV Family Moments

The other day was a two cups of coffee kind of day. You parents know what I'm talking about. There's the morning coffee that helps you to not be a wretched human being for the day, and then there's that evening coffee that you try to avoid but sometimes cave to, because there's just no way you'd be able to handle your little lunatics before your spouse comes home and the kids go to bed.

For the briefest moment, (maybe 7 minutes?) it was just lovely and peaceful. All three of my kids (fur kid too) were happily playing while I sat on the couch with my special cup of coffee, watching an episode of Friends on Netflix. In that moment, I felt like I was living in some happy, feel-good, wholesome family sitcom! I was living the good life, a happy mommy with her happy brood!

Then my toddler jumped on the couch, headbutted me and spilled my coffee all over me from chin to crotch. Seriously all over, there was a pool of coffee inside the cups of my nursing bra. And I don't know how, but I somehow immediately already smelled of stale, day old coffee. How?!

Since everyone was quite content, I decided to take a speed-shower. While in the shower, I thought, "What could go wrong?" and that's when I remembered that Elias could roll onto his front now. I immediately called out to Noah to ask if Eli was on his back or tummy, to which he chirped, "He's on his tummy, mumum!". I leapt out of that shower so fast, leaving a trail of soap and water behind me! I got to my youngest son and my heart jumped into my throat because he looked like a dead rag doll on his front! I screamed, startled little Elias, who just turned to look at me, puzzled, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Sometimes, I can't believe this is my life. My life is a comedy of errors. Now, please excuse me while I attempt to lift permanent marker from Noah's favourite shirt. Have yourselves a great Thursday!

Blurry brotherly "love"

Cradle Cap

I was just talking to my best friend about our kids' cradle cap issues, and how I finally figured out how to wage war on it and win. For three months now, since Elias was about a month old, we've been tolerating the gross, scaly, yellow crustiness of his scalp. I tried olive oil, coconut oil, Vaseline, and shea butter. We've picked it off, scratched it off, scrubbed it off in the bath. Nothing worked, it just kept coming back after we thought we had conquered it.

Even his pediatrician couldn't offer any helpful advice. Noah had cradle cap for a few weeks too, but it had resolved itself by the time he was three months old. I knew I didn't want to try any medicated ointments or creams, so I slept on it and decided to try a new plan of attack.

The Honest Company had just come out with a new line of bath and body care, and since their products have worked so well for us in the past, I thought I would give their Nourishing line a try. I'm pretty sure little Elias inherited my dry skin, which means that we really need to keep him well moisturized in order to beat this cradle cap.

This was the plan:

1. Every single day last week, I treated his scalp with a bit of coconut oil for an hour.

2. Then, I washed his hair with Honest's Perfectly Gentle Shampoo + Body Wash, while brushing his scalp in a circular motion with a baby hairbrush.

3. After rinsing, I applied the Deeply Nourishing Conditioner and brushed him some more.

4. Finally after washing out the conditioner, I patted him dry and immediately applied a dollop of their Deeply Nourishing Face + Body Lotion. After that soaked in, I brushed him some more and dabbed a bit more of the lotion on him.

I noticed a difference almost immediately, and after three days, a vast improvement. After the fourth day, we've pretty much nearly gotten rid of it completely! Since it's the winter and we've got the heat on, applying the lotion at the first sign of dryness is key. I think that as soon as his scalp starts to get dry, the sebaceous glands in his scalp overproduce oil, which then leads to clogged pores and crusty scaliness.

I'm seriously so pleased that this worked! At first I thought that washing his scalp every day would make it worse, but so far it's only gotten better. High five for mommy perseverance!

Being Everything

In motherhood, I'm still in the early stages. I'm not quite the rookie mom with just a newborn, but I'm certainly not the mom soon facing an empty nest, with years and years of homework, tear wiping, door-slamming, and car pooling under her belt. I'm currently in a bit of a difficult part, the part where you don't ever seem to get enough sleep, and you're constantly needed if you're in the same room as your children. It's both taxing and rewarding at the same time.

My firstborn turned three years old last month. He no longer falls asleep on me for his nap. Actually, he hasn't for some time now because of my huge pregnant belly. I was told by several people that letting my boy sleep on me was a bad habit and that I shouldn't spoil him, it'll ruin his future sleep routine. I'm glad I didn't listen. I'm also glad I took 75 million pictures of us in that position, because I'll never have it with him again. That makes my heart hurt a tiny bit.

Just when I was coming to terms with releasing my first son from his babyhood, I find myself happily and thankfully neck deep in another baby's life. His need for me can feel all consuming, but this time, because I don't know if there will be another next time, I'm reveling in it. I put him to sleep on my shoulder just now, my giant four month old boy, two fistfuls of my hair in his little hands, not wanting to let me go. It made me so happy that I just wept and wept. They were tears of joy for still having the privilege of being the person who can give someone everything they need in this world, but wistful tears because I know now, how quickly it goes by.

A teacher of mine in college once told me that in order to live a full life, one should do one thing each day that scares you, because nothing worth doing was ever easy. He was right, motherhood is one of the scariest things I have ever undertaken. There are easier days and harder days, but I know that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now.

Have a beautiful weekend folks. xoxo

Rolling?!

Guys, my almost four month old just rolled over onto his tummy. I'm so proud of him but also, do I have to stress out about swaddling him at night now? I can't seem to catch a break, my boys like to do things too early. The more I try to will time to stop, the faster it seems to speed by. This might explain the nine glorious hours he slept last night. (Please keep doing that Elias, I'm ok with this part.)

Both boys are growing up so fast, can you two just stop it for a second? Momie needs to catch her breath!

Have a great weekend, may everyone stay warm, safe, and dry.

He seemed pleased with himself