Pet Loss Grief

When my Toby died last Tuesday, I felt not only horribly sad and devastated, but incredibly guilty as well. I guess those are organic reactions to have when you lose a beloved pet and family member.

I felt like there must have been something more I could have done. I could've rushed him to the vet earlier; I could've made sure he didn't eat indigestible things around the house that could've harmed him; I could've made life better for him somehow. In many ways, this post is really just about validating and proving to myself that I was a good bunny mother, and if I'm truly honest with myself, I think that I was.

Brendan and I saved that little bun's life so many times. He ate like a king, was a free range house rabbit, and was given lots of love daily. Toby even had his own eye doctor. Yes, seriously.

I can agonize all I want about the life that we did or didn't give him, but what matters in the end is that he knew he was loved and we really did do our best for him. Not just as a human baby mama, but as a rabbit mama, I always go above and beyond. That said, it doesn't make me miss my little fatso any less.

You can't ignore the living for the dead though, so I am still counting my blessings. I still have my Small Human, my crazy Tidbit, my husband and my whole family to love and enjoy for as long as we are fortunate enough to be together.

The dead may be gone from our physical lives but they will never, ever be forgotten or unloved.