Take a Step Back

You know those people who always reminisce about the good old days? That's fine, and a natural human thing to do because you're remembering how awesome your life has been, and it makes you happy. However, if you constantly compare your life now to your life before marriage or kids and wistfully think about the easy breezy days, you're probably living life wrong.

A strong statement, I know, but I'm not judging, I'm just thinking about how I have behaved in the past, and how I would like to live in the present and beyond.

I am starting to feel like every week, the challenges keep getting more challenging. I don't know if this is an actuality, or just my view of the world. Last week may have been an exception, what with the puke/pooptastic events that took place, but I find myself getting really annoyed when Small Human whines at me or cries for no reason that I can understand. Then I'll figure out what the problem was and smack myself in the head for being such a dumbass.

The moments of clarity usually come to me when something truly wonderful is happening. I've come to realize that the beautiful things aren't exclusive to the big, life-changing events in life, but the tiniest things too. Today, my whiny babe just wanted to be held because he was ready for nap time and was feeling gassy. I know this because I held him and he quickly melted and fell asleep on me, farting with every wiggle.

When I held him, I felt this overwhelming joy and panic. My son will never be as little as he is today. He grows a little with each day that passes. He'll keep growing long after he has grown even bigger than me! So for today, I am going to enjoy every second of his tininess, of his crude, early communication skills, and our mutual unconditional love.

Watching The Lorax together while recovering. He's on my back cause the carpet is wet from being cleaned.