Mommy Creeper

At around 9pm last night, I felt lonely and missed my baby. So when he briefly stirred, I ran to his nursery and peeked in. I think I woke him up with the light from the hallway, but I was so excited to go in to comfort him that I didn't care. I got to pick him up and squeeze him, and kiss his fat little cheeks and tell him I love him. 

What the heck is my problem?? I feel like most people would not behave the way I did just now. It had only been two hours since bedtime. Does this happen to you? I get that we all love our children, but enough to hope that they wake up so you can snuggle? It's not as if we don't get to spend all our time together during the day.

It was a great day too, we got to try out a new music class and I think Small Human really enjoyed himself! He was a little bit shy, but very interested. Later in the afternoon, he had his first dentist appointment. This was less fun not due to the dentist part, but because my Small Human decided to throw an almighty tantrum in the waiting room because I wouldn't let him have my scalding hot coffee. It's the same tantrum every day pretty much.

I remember a time when I used to get embarrassed when he would cry in public, but I've gotten over that. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do and if anyone has anything to say about that, then they are welcome to try their hand at it!

He was such a monkey this week. He loves climbing up on things and he's getting better and better at it. Look at this:

He wanted the books on the shelf behind the stroller

Do you like my fake smile? Cause this was post tantrum.

At music class

Shopping at Nordstrom

No big plans for the weekend, just more house hunting, massage appointments, and I get to babysit little Carmen today, which I am very excited about! I hope you all have a wonderful tantrum-free weekend.

All You Need Is Sun

Wednesday was all kinds of awesome and it all started with the sun. We had sunshine, for one thing, which set off a chain reaction: I was happy that is wasn't grey and rainy; I woke up early-ish; the boys were also in good spirits; since it was dry out, I could curl my hair; we met up with friends for an early lunch, talked to some chickens and went for a nice walk; my internet got fixed; my baby stopped whining (the only minor glitch of the day) and became a snugglebug again; general happiness over all.

It's definitely a much better week health-wise than the last, but I wish these molars would hurry up and show themselves. I'm not a fan of using baby ibuprofen, but I'm no fool, a happy baby = a happy momie, and also happy patrons of (insert name of cafe/restaurant/store here).

Le Petit Human is still too little to do any real crafting of his own, except I thought I'd try stickers out on him. I wanted to get him crayons, but at the store he got so excited that he already started to put them in his mouth, so I guess we're not quite ready for that yet. He did like the stickers though, he licked each one before trying to flick them onto the paper. Of course, I helped to press them on, he's only 13 months old after all. ;)

Oh, and the baby boom has begun! Our friends Wendy & Steven just welcomed their beautiful little (big) boy Oliver, last night! 9lbs 4oz, and a fast labour to boot. Bad ass. Congratulations you guys!

Delicate States

Sorry for the late post, but I had no internet today. When I called the oh so helpful Comcast, their automated operator suggested that if I have any problems, I could go online to try to fix them. Um, I HAVE NO INTERNET. Someone's coming tomorrow to see what the problem is, hopefully that will be the end of it.

There's no more gastrointestinal distress on our end but unfortunately, we have moved on to other things. Somehow, Noah has the cough that I had two weeks ago, and also more molars are coming in. Apparently we can't get a break over here.

Last week, I would've been pulling at my hair and screaming guttural screams in the bathroom, but since I'm feeling much better (although still a bit delicate in the belly), I've got lots of patience to be a "good" mother. Small Human has been very demanding and cranky, poor guy, and I need all the patience I can muster.

He's not interested in napping, but I managed to squeeze two 30 minute naps out of him. All he wants to do is snuggle with mommy on the couch for two whole days now. It's just the most wonderful, adorable, glorious thing, that I really can't complain. I'm not getting anything done, but what better excuse is there?

I'm thankful to be able to stay home with him, but I'm thinking we're gonna need another vacation soon!

Take a Step Back

You know those people who always reminisce about the good old days? That's fine, and a natural human thing to do because you're remembering how awesome your life has been, and it makes you happy. However, if you constantly compare your life now to your life before marriage or kids and wistfully think about the easy breezy days, you're probably living life wrong.

A strong statement, I know, but I'm not judging, I'm just thinking about how I have behaved in the past, and how I would like to live in the present and beyond.

I am starting to feel like every week, the challenges keep getting more challenging. I don't know if this is an actuality, or just my view of the world. Last week may have been an exception, what with the puke/pooptastic events that took place, but I find myself getting really annoyed when Small Human whines at me or cries for no reason that I can understand. Then I'll figure out what the problem was and smack myself in the head for being such a dumbass.

The moments of clarity usually come to me when something truly wonderful is happening. I've come to realize that the beautiful things aren't exclusive to the big, life-changing events in life, but the tiniest things too. Today, my whiny babe just wanted to be held because he was ready for nap time and was feeling gassy. I know this because I held him and he quickly melted and fell asleep on me, farting with every wiggle.

When I held him, I felt this overwhelming joy and panic. My son will never be as little as he is today. He grows a little with each day that passes. He'll keep growing long after he has grown even bigger than me! So for today, I am going to enjoy every second of his tininess, of his crude, early communication skills, and our mutual unconditional love.

Watching The Lorax together while recovering. He's on my back cause the carpet is wet from being cleaned.

Out, Damned Spot!

My house is officially a hazardous waste zone. No one is allowed to come over until we've had the carpets cleaned. As you know, Noah vomited on the carpet in various all the rooms of the house, and today he pooped on it too.

I guess the delicate balance of his digestive ecosystem was thrown out of whack, because he had ridiculously explosive poop on Thursday evening. He was having a bottle of milk and reclining in his armchair, and I thought all was well until I detected a foul, pickle-like smell. I thought he had vomited up the milk again.

Then the horror hit me. It looked like someone had taken a pastry bag full of yellow, pickle-scented soft poop and squirted it all over Noah's chair, the carpet in front of the chair, his bottle of milk, and all over his baby body. He was holding poop in his hand. When I finally realized what the heck was going on, he smiled at me and patted it into his hair, then stuck a finger in his mouth.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

I made a panicked phone call to Brendan, which we laughed about later, while I stripped and rinsed the Small Poopy Human in the bathtub. Poop was everywhere, even on me. So now, not only does my house smell like vomit, it smells like human feces too.

My cortisol levels went through the roof today. No wonder I can't get back down to my actor weight.

Now that I have sufficiently nauseated everyone, have a great weekend!

Pre Poopmageddon on our two hour walk 

Mommy's Night

Managing to plan a moms night out is a huge feat. All of your schedules and the husbands' schedules need to match up, and when all the stars align and the moon is in the right phase, it can actually happen. One of these mystical nights occurred on Tuesday and it was the mysticalest.

We all really just needed to not be out with our babies. We could all eat and talk to each other in peace. Fancy that. No tantrums, no screaming, no one needing our attention. We laughed, we ate delicious food, we drank wine, it was so nice!

I have known this wondrous group of women for almost a year now, and I love each and every single one of them. They've all contributed to my sanity, and have helped in enriching mine and Noah's lives in so many ways. They are like my war buddies, the ones who know what I went through in those first difficult weeks with a newborn, and can always commiserate with me because they went through it at the same time.

Thank you for being my mommy rocks, I love and appreciate you all so much. xoxo

Did I mention that Brendan is a superhero? He wrangled two crazy monkeys, played with them, read to them, and got them both to sleep somehow. Nicole and I were flabbergasted when Brendan emailed me that the boys were both fast asleep. I'm not being facetious, I really think he deserves a medal. Or maybe pie, yeah, he loves pie.

Of course, the one night I go out also happens to be the night that Small Human ends up barfing all night long. Never in my life have I been more grateful to have a husband and a washer/dryer. Thank goodness Noah owns one million pajamas, sleep sacks and blankets, or we'd never have gotten through the night. It was starting to feel like a nightmarish Broadway production after the 5th costume change.

He's better now, and so are we! Go us!

Post dinner at Tallulah

Hunting for candy like a bunch of teenagers. ELIZA!

House of Vomit

Last night, Mr. Wilson and I finally gained access to the exclusive world of parents who have dealt with vomit. Our poor, sweet, still so tiny Small Human, had his first bout of upset stomach last night. All night. We went through 5 pajama changes, 4 dirty sleep sacks, 3 blankets, 2 sheets, 3 baths, 3 loads of laundry, pukey carpets everywhere, and pajama changes for both momie and dada.

It started with him waking up with a poopy diaper, which is unheard of. Then he woke up again an hour later, and when I walked into the room, it smelled like sour cheese. That should have been my first clue, but when I went to pick him up he was dripping with puke! There was barf everywhere!

My poor little sweet pea could only scream and cry, and vomit a little more. By 2am he was the saddest little limp rag doll of a babe who just wanted to stop vomiting and sleep. We took him into our bed, and it seemed like it was finally over, but he had another little episode at 3am and 4am. I woke up at 5 from weird pains in my own stomach, which turned out to be nerves, and I put the Small Human in his crib.

He didn't sleep right away, he just stared at me, with huge, doleful eyes. His throat probably hurt from the acid and still felt queasy. I think my heart broke last night, but he didn't have a fever. We had one more projectile vomit at 10am, but he's been happy and playing, and thankfully getting a good nap in now.

My house smells like cheesy bile. I showered and changed, but I am still exhausted and smell barf everwhere. I think what happened was that Noah ate too many new things yesterday and his belly couldn't hack it. I was trying to be a really laid back, open-minded mommy, but clearly I screwed up somewhere.

I guess the bright side is that he doesn't have a scary virus, but I don't feel like a very good mother. I'm not looking for reassurance, I just feel awful. Poor Brendan went in to work late, and on very little sleep. This is one of those instances when it sucks so hard to have no family around anywhere at all.

We did it though, and I have no idea if this post is even coherent, and I kinda don't care.

My poor little love

Finally asleep

Baby Besties

Our good friends, the Bakris are in town for a quick visit! We are pretty excited because Oliver is Noah's very first bestie. They were pretty shy with each other at first, but quickly warmed up to each other and partnered up to create lots of trouble for us mamas in no time.

I was so sad when Nicole and Oliver left Seattle. We lost our favourite neighbours and daily walking partners. It was also sad that Noah no longer had a boy exactly his age to roughhouse with. They were hilarious together on Monday afternoon! They seem to be well-matched in terms of skill level and curiosity. Brendan's going to be babysitting both boys tonight while we have a girls night out, which should make for a very entertaining story later, to be sure.

They were SO CUTE together, but they're both such busy bodies that it was impossible to get a clear shot of their extreme cuteness. Oh man, I love these boys! Stay tuned for the adventures of Oliver & Noah!

Long lost buddies!

Fake vs. Real

As a mommy blogger, I have chosen to make most of my family life open to the public. I try my best to be very genuine and honest about my day to day life, and I certainly don't try to make myself look perfect. Alternately, just because you complain all the time, it doesn't make you more real, just real annoying. Same goes for the perpetually positive people.

I find that mommy bloggers usually fall into two categories: The ones that make it seem like life is all about making pancakes together as a family while wearing the cutest outfits, and laughing happily in sepia tone; and the seemingly angry ones who try too hard to be funny and make it seem like life is too hard to live, so-hooray-that-they-kept-their-kid-alive-and managed-to-make-dinner-give-them-a-medal.

I don't think I am either of these moms. Life is a delicate balancing act, after all. I try to keep things mostly positive, and I definitely swear a lot less in my posts than I would in real life, but I try to be respectful of you as readers. I also try not to be too self-deprecating, because that is a nasty habit of mine that I've been trying to kick but can't seem to.

Now that I think of it, I guess this probably makes for a pretty boring blog, but I figure, the people in between the extremes need a voice too. So to those of you who have gotten it into your heads that I am some kind of awesome super mom, I surely am not. I feel proud of my accomplishments, but I also have days where I feel like I suck at life. Honestly, life feels like I am just getting things done before the buzzer goes off. I enjoy sharing my successes and challenges with you, and maybe trading tips and tricks for making things a bit easier.

I have the same insecurities you have, the same pressures, the same complaints. Plus, it's not about looking like you're an awesome mother, it's about being one to your kid. If you have happy children who are learning and growing and having fun, then I think it's safe to say that you are an awesome mommy.

Happy President's Day and Family Day to everyone!

Look how AWESOME we are, running errands at Ikea. Ya, no.

Adventures in Parenthood

From the moment I woke up, I knew it would be one of those days. The first thing I felt was the huge, painful pimple on my chin. The first thing I saw was Toby's poop, scattered all over the nursery floor. For no reason, just cause. Then I encounter a sick husband who actually called in sick from work. Plus one very happy but clingy baby. Not too bad.

Our internet stopped working which is annoying, and I tried all the lame ways to try to fix it but to no avail. My experience as a receptionist came in handy today, making appointments while Small Human yelled at the top of his lungs right next to me. For no reason, just cause. Of course, as soon as I was done each phone call, he would stop being boisterous and walk away quietly. What a stinker! This is why the internet is my preferred form of communication.

Then it got really exciting. Noah's boy bits were red when I changed his poopy diaper, and he even winced when I pressed on him lightly. I called the doctor immediately, it felt wrong. I got an appointment right away, but there was still a lot of waiting. Getting a one year old off schedule can be bad news, especially if you're trying to contain him.

The rest of my whole day was spent pacifying my son and walking all over Capitol Hill very, very slowly as I waited for him to toddle up and down the hills with me. We have a fungal infection situation, which meant a stop at the drug store and more waiting. By the end of this, I had a tiny wind up toy going berserk and running back and forth and chasing dogs. Hilarious but exhausting.

I got rewarded with the easiest bed time to date, and you can bet your bottom dollar I ordered sushi and watched the Olympics on the couch all night with the mister.

I would LOVE a sickness-free, infection-free, sleep and fun-filled weekend please. With lots of sunshine and yummy coffee. May you have one as well! :)

Happy birthday Unka Mark!

I Love My Neighbourhood

It feels like day one million and one that I've been sick now and I'm tired of being cooped up, so Small Human and I went for walk. It was a warm and sunny day in Seattle, I opened up all the windows in the apartment to let the fresh, spring air in, then headed out for a walk in the neighborhood.

We needed to pick up a few things, but mostly I wanted us to breathe in some clean Seattle air. The air here is different from back home, it's more refreshing somehow. Then we stumbled upon this gem of a sign!

A Doctor Who themed sandwich board? We have the funnest neighbourhood evarrr! Seriously, we have some interesting characters up on the hill, it seems boring until you live here and get to witness the ridiculousness.

We've got a health food store right around the corner from us that I haven't decided if I love or despise. It's great for the plethora of natural products and vitamins and even letterpress paper products, randomly, but it's staffed by characters straight out of Portlandia. Every time I go in there looking for something specific, I am met with a blasé standoffishness that is incredibly annoying. "We don't carry them anymore because you can find that brand at any drugstore or even Safeway now." Oh Capitol Hill.

Noah's been feeling like his usual self again, getting into everything and being a silly monkey. I spent most of the afternoon recording his antics. It freaks me out how fast he's growing and I know I'm gonna miss this so much, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can.

Sometimes he climbs in the drawer

He didn't fall, he's lounging with his best friend, the pizza tray.

My baby is so weird. After this he started singing karaoke. I love him. That is all. :)

Being a Good Person

I want to be a good person so that I can show my son how to be one. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm inherently bad, but I want to be the best kind of person that I can be for myself and for Noah. Let me explain:

Those of you who know me, know that I am pretty feisty and I'm passionate too, which means I end up loving but also hating with all of my being. In fact, the more I care for you the more passionate I am about it. Just know that even though I would die, I would volunteer as tribute for all my loved ones. (Hunger Games reference for those who don't know what I'm talking about)

It's so easy to be kind and patient when you're dealing with other kind, patient people but it's not always the case. People can be liars, or have insecurities, they can have hormonal imbalances, or heavy burdens on their hearts. This is when I feel challenged in the Good Person area of my life. I somehow get it in my mind that I have to "fix" everything by being some kind of behaviour vigilante. I want to call out the liars, I want to tell people off who are being unfair or unkind, and I do.

I find it the most difficult thing in the world to take a step back, realize that other people are dealing with things too, and behave like a mature, centered person. What I do instead is often attack viciously, or cut people off completely. In the moment, I consciously choose not to be the bigger person if you can believe it.

When people make me angry, I do what most people do, I blame the other person. The thing is, you can't control other people but you can control your own thoughts and actions, even if it may be with great difficulty. It sounds sooooo simple, but it's a real struggle for me.

I've witnessed people blow up over nearly nothing and I don't want to be like that. It makes life hard and complicated for everybody involved. The best lesson I can teach my son is to stay true to his principles and never lie, don't be a push over, but don't be quick to anger, and be understanding and kind to everyone. He won't learn this unless he sees it in his parents, so this is what I am going to do. He's the only person who could give me the courage to have a Cesarean section and now the courage to change my angry ways. That just proves that love is more powerful than hate. 

Sick Mini

My little boy is burning up and it's all my fault. I gave him whatever it is that I have, and now he's just lying on me, happy but kinda lethargic. It's so sad! He doesn't have a high fever, just a mild one, but it's enough to change his behaviour. I love that he's a snugglebug but I hate that he's running a temperature.

I gave him some Infant Advil, and today pretty much consisted of lounging, watching Sesame Street, napping together, laughing at each other, and eating. Sounds great in theory, except I was coughing like a TB patient (no I don't actually have Tuberculosis), and both of us had some seriously runny noses. If Noah starts coughing, my heart will break, so I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that he doesn't. I'm starting to feel better at least.

Once again, we were responsible citizens and stayed inside. If you're sick, for crying out loud, WASH YOUR HANDS OFTEN, and stay home if you can.

Update: Noah woke up at 10:15pm with a fever of 103. :( We gave him some Advil but sleeping was crazy, obviously. Now that it's morning, we are both cranky and not feeling like ourselves. It's gonna be a good day, we both just wanna be left alone.

Hopefully, your day is much better than ours and illness-free!

Quiet playing today

Boring Weekend

We didn't really do anything productive at all this weekend. I've got a head and chest cold, so I'm taking it easy. Noah and I did go for a walk Saturday night though, and something magical happened: It started to snow in Seattle. It's not unheard of, but it definitely doesn't happen often in the city so it feels like something out of a storybook, and not like the annoyance that we have come to see it as out east. That said, Noah didn't care.

I got really excited and started to dance around and catch the snowflakes and Small Human may as well have been a teenager out with his highly embarrassing mother. He's probably too little to care but his indifference was hilarious!

Not having any plans at all is the worst. We were supposed to go to our little friend's first birthday party on Saturday, but I started to get progressively worse, so we stayed home. (Sad!) Then Sunday we pretty much stayed inside all day as well, even though we had planned to go out for dinner. Boring. As. Heck. Small Human likes being cooped up about as much as I do, so naturally he started to freak out by late afternoon. At least I'm being responsible and staying inside instead of spreading my germs all over Seattle? No, that still doesn't make me feel better about it.

I never thought I would ever look forward to Mondays as much as I do now. Then we can get back to our usual mommy and baby routine. Oh man, motherhood is weird. Here's hoping I'm less of a vessel of sickness tomorrow. Somebody pass the Vicks and sing me Soft Kitty please.

Here's a gratuitous picture of the Small Human, doesn't he look like a big boy here?!

The Things You Do

It's Thursday night and my husband is out for his weekly game night, while I am at home eating baby snacks for dessert. I realize this is not even remotely close to the most exciting thing you've ever heard in your life, but I thought I'd put that out there anyway.

Eating baby snacks on purpose was the last thing I would've pictured myself doing in my future, and if you plan on being a mother someday, I can tell you now that you will too. At least they are cool, freeze-dried snacks. Astronaut food!

No but seriously, as a mother you will eat everything that your kid doesn't or won't eat, it's inevitable. As it turns out, Small Human is a picky eater. I figured this out the other day when we were eating quiche for lunch. I knew he liked it, which is why I served it at his birthday, but I had no idea just how much. He ate almost as much as momie did.

He was totally fine afterwards too, he didn't puke or burp or act like he had overeaten. What the heck? Had we been starving him all this time just cause he didn't like what we were giving him? We give him pretty much all our food to try, and since everything is new to him it could go either way. Honestly though, most of the time, it's a no.

This is why I am currently eating freeze-dried strawberry yogurt melts. I think his pickiness is also why he always seems to be hungry. That day he ate all the quiche, there was no constant begging for food, he just played for a solid two hours.

Now I just gotta figure out what this kid will seriously chow down on. I gave him the awesomest mac 'n cheese the other day shaped like BUNNIES and he looked at me like I was serving him dirt.

Challenge accepted, Small Human, momie will prevail. Have yourselves a wonderful weekend everyone, stay toasty!

My Crappy Parent Moment

I really wanted to go to the big parade to welcome the Seahawks home and celebrate their Super Bowl victory on Wednesday morning. Seattle just happened to get a cold snap, and in the Pacific Northwest a cold snap means temperatures around the freezing point. I know, everyone else just laughs at us for that, what with your huge snow and ice storms this winter. But seriously, for us, that is ridiculous and unheard of.

Being from Quebec, I'm aware of how to dress for extreme cold weather. I thought I was dressing Noah properly in:

a night diaper for extra absorbency
sleeveless undershirt onesie
short sleeved onesie
leggings
jeans
high collared sweater to cover his neck
winter coat with hood
hat with ear flaps
cotton socks
wool socks
boots
fleece mittens
Seahawks jersey

That all seems fine, right? Well, we started to walk downtown at 10:25, got there at 10:50, met up with some friends and headed for the parade. It was intense. The energy, not the cold. Everyone was so happy and many in the crowd were pretty baked since marijuana is legal in Washington state. There was plenty of cheering, chanting and crazypants loud music. I'm glad we brought headphones cause Noah slept from home all the way downtown and through the loud music.

Anyway, it was a rush and you could just feel the emotions in the air! The parade was supposed to start at 11, but by 11:30 nothing had happened as far as we could tell. We were a few blocks from the start of the parade, but not too far. By 11:40 my toes started to go numb. If my toes were numb, what about tiny little Noah??

This is when Noah started to squirm and whine. He didn't want a bottle, or snacks, or to be held, or to be on the ground. Then he started to cry real tears and scream. My Small Human isn't like this in public (anymore) which meant something was wrong.

Naturally, my first thought was, "Oh shitty shit, I let the baby get frostbite!". I tried to hide my panic, and my sweet friend Robyn obliged my immediate need to be indoors. As soon as we stepped inside, Noah was fine. I was freezing him! :(

When I took his mittens off, I just about stood up and rushed to the hospital because his little baby hands were purple. PURPLE. I warmed them between my hands and he was fine within minutes, snacking on cheesies, running around with Carmen and wreaking havoc at the Washington Athletic Club. I still felt like I won the Loser Mommy of The Year Award and it's only the beginning of February.

I know the grandparents are probably horrified reading this right now, but he's fine! He's alive, he's happy, he does not have frostbite.

We still had a great day, despite the constant baby setbacks that occur when you try to go out and actually you know, do things.

Before the havoc-wreaking

Enjoying the basketball court

Brushing out all that hat hair. He got the hang of it later the same afternoon . :)

See? He's fine.

Nap Time Frustration

I have been trying unsuccessfully, all afternoon to get my Small Human to take his afternoon nap. It is now 5:15pm on a Tuesday and he is howling because I've left him in his crib.

I am feeling so frustrated right now, that it's better that we are in different rooms. I just wanna yell at him and spank him, but I'm not going to do that. He won't understand that mommy is experiencing impatience and anger, he'll just feel confused and scared probably. Also, I would rather burn alive than ever hurt him.

The thing is, if he doesn't sleep now, he will have such a fitful sleep later. That is all I am trying to avoid here. I am going to lose my marbles. Every time he cries, it's like my energy gets siphoned out through my heart. After six minutes pass I cave in.

When I went to get him he just melted into my arms like we were one person. He giggled in that hiccuppy way kids do after they've been crying really hard. How can I deny him the basic need of being comforted and loved by his mama?

OMG I just had an epiphany. The poor kid is clearly transitioning out of his baby double naps and into his one toddler nap. Right? Wait, how do you even do that? Now I wish I had paid closer attention to that annoying mom I met who was obsessed with consolidating her kid's nap time.

If you have any tips or tricks, I'm all ears. Or eyes, as the case may be.

How am I supposed to discipline this hilarious astronaut one day?! 

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My Monday

I know that I have laid out a general daily schedule before, and kinda tell you what I get up to every day, but I thought I'd be really specific and break down a regular old boring day without social engagements. Every day is important. I'm not trying to be witty or funny, it just is what it is, and it's not an instruction manual on how to live your life as the SAHM of a one year old.

What I Did on Monday:

9am: Wake up, Brendan pours me a cup of coffee. I sit at the breakfast table with the boys and help Noah eat his breakfast.

9:30: I clean up the kitchen, wash the dishes, wipe down the table and high chair while Noah drinks water, plays and "reads".

9:45: Finish up my coffee and message some friends on FB.

10am: I play with/sing/dance/hug/kiss Small Human. He has a poop. We brush our teeth.

10:15: Bath time, singing, moisturization time, change of clothes.

10:30: We read a book, pet Toby, I sing and Noah falls asleep at 10:45.

10:45: I wash my face, put on some BB cream and highlighter, curl my lashes. Mascara. I clean my earrings cause they've lost their sparkle.

11am: I eat leftovers for "brunch", and make a to do list. I spray down the kitchen counters and mop floor.

11:15: A package arrives and I put things away and get the recycling ready to go out.

11:30: Reply to Brendan's email about forgetting his glasses at home. I can't find them anywhere.

12pm: Found the glasses and Small Human has woken up. Diaper change. He eats various lunch foods.

12:30: I try to trick Small Human into sitting still while I trim his nails because he just scratched the crap out of my leg with his deadly fingernails that I just trimmed on Friday. He makes up for his squirminess by giving me kisses over and over!

12:45: I put proper clothes on to go out while Noah plays with the yoga ball in the bedroom and steals my foot cream off the nightstand. I give my ponytail a quick comb through, and get Noah dressed for the semi cold Seattle day. Small Human clucks like a chicken, we giggle.

1pm: We are finally out of the house even though I had to go back twice to get my sunglasses, and then the recycling I had prepared.

1:15: We walk to the park and it is SO windy and freezing that we head up to the post office instead to mail out packages.

1:30: Go to Walgreens to run errands. (toothpaste, AAA batteries, etc)

1:45: Go to the grocery store to buy organic carrots with tops for the bunnies, and ingredients for dinner tonight. (open faced hamburgers I saw on Pinterest)

2pm: Stop by Starbucks for a much needed iced caramel macchiato. Visit my favourite baristas on earth. Noah's starting to look drowsy.

2:10: We head over to the other big grocery store because they have the sparkling juice I like. I buy the name brand and generic brand to test the difference since the name brand is two whole dollars more expensive.

2:15: I manage to avoid crazy people yelling on the street and head home.

2:20: I get the stroller laden with stuff up 8 steps into the apartment, pop Small Human out who has fallen asleep clutching a Mum-Mum, get him out of his coat and hat and into his crib to nap.

I briefly worry that he has hypothermia because he hasn't gone down that easily for a second nap in weeks.

2:30: Put away the groceries and the stroller. Check the mail. Wash the pot I had soaking in the sink. Dust living room.

2:45: Start writing this blog post, simultaneously message some friends, have my third glass of water for the day.

3pm: Put new batteries in Noah's microphone toy that he has played with to death. (Thanks Tita Nini!) Pick up all of Small Human's toys and books and put them away.

3:15: Lay Valentine cards out on the table. Hopefully get a few done. Put away dishes. Water orchids. Try on the shoes that just arrived in the mail. I think I'm exchanging them, but Zappos is awesome so it'll be easy.

3:40: Realize that I am starving to death and make myself a sandwich. I also plan to eat a cupcake.

3:45: Noah wakes up, starts violently screaming until I dance and sing when I come to get him. Diaper change.

3:50: Noah steals my peanut butter sandwich. I try to get it back by offering him vegan food snacks. It works. We snack in peace. I play some jams on Pandora.

4:15: I run the dishwasher and Noah makes out with it and starts to drum on it with a pot lid, I take the pot lid away and give him a drumstick. He is cool with the switcheroo. We have some milk and sing songs and dance for a while until he gets bored with me and plays with Tidbit.

He plays independently throughout the house for 45 minutes until he poops. Bugging Tid; visiting the dishwasher; playing with his reflection in the oven door; reading his library books; sitting in and standing on his chair; looking out the balcony doors at the people and cars and birds; All the while, talking and laughing to himself and to me, and playing music on his microphone that he must've missed while it was out of batteries.

Meanwhile I blog, message friends, pin some things on Pinterest. I change his poopy diaper, which is really yogurt-y. His diaper pail is getting full but I'm going to push it another day.

5pm: I start thinking about dinner, re-read the recipe and execution, modify recipe. Recipe is making me hungry, so I have another snack. Start second guessing my dinner choice and consider just going to Dick's Drive-In.

5:10: Throw the towels in the washing machine. We head out for a short walk in the remaining sunshine because Noah is bored and has started to do all the things he isn't supposed to do, like touch my bicycle, pull out plugs, and pour water over himself and momie.

5:30: We are back home because it was freezing cold outside. I turn on the tv and put some Doctor Who on in the background while we read Small Human's favourite books of the moment. Noah dances to the opening music, imitates Donna Noble's noises.

6pm: Dinner time for Small Human, change into pajamas, he farts and laughs hysterically, then more independent play while I throw the laundry in the dryer and get dinner ready. I always feel a bit anxious when trying a recipe for the first time.

6:45: Noah gets his night bottle, starts a game of  "Chase Me Momie" while I cook.

7pm: Noah begins to get whiny and clingy. I stop cooking and snuggle with my babe, brush his teeth, put on a night diaper (his old one was poopy!), nearly break the diaper pail cause it's full. Reluctantly change the bag, while Noah cries because I've stopped paying attention to him. I stick him in his sleep sack.

I turn down all the lights, turn off the tv, we read 3 books. I hold him close to my heart, sing some French lullabies, tell him good night and he goes to sleep.

7:20: I turn the tv back on, clean up the living room which is littered with toys and books.

7:25: Return to the kitchen. The cipolline onions I attempted to caramelize have mostly been charred. Blerg. At least the recipe didn't call for it, I was just being fancy. Put the hamburgers in the oven.

7:45: The open faced burgers are amazing. Glad I modified the recipe to make it my own. Add heirloom tomatoes and a bit of mayo before serving and it's perfection!

8pm: Brendan comes home. We chillax and hang out until we've digested. He loves the open faced burgers!

9:45pm: Attempt P90X. Brendan breaks a water glass.

10pm: P90X disappeared from our hard drive. We do random free P90X 35 minute workout on Youtube.

10:15: Noah wakes up cause we're being loud about the ab exercises. Pause P90X for 5 minutes.

11pm: I swore I would make at least one Valentine, but I am now nauseous and sleepy. Will shower in the morning instead, too tired now.

11:05: brush teeth, exfoliate face, bed. Finish post.

Exeunt. Scene. 

We Are The Champs

We had a really great weekend! We celebrated our friends baby's impending arrival and their sweet new house, and I don't know if you've heard, but our local sports team won a victory yesterday. 

No big deal, the Seattle Seahawks just won THE SUPER BOWL. I gotta say, it's pretty exciting and super fun to be the winning team!

I love the camaraderie it inspires and the shared jubilation of an entire city of people. The energy is so positive and invigorating! It's especially cool to share a name with the star quarterback, Russell Wilson. 

Noah and I, along with our friends are going to celebrate with the rest of Seattle at the parade on Wednesday morning. It's going to be bananas.

When Small Human and I walked downtown two weeks ago, we got cheered, high fived and hollered at happily just because Noah had his Seahawks jersey on. I can't imagine what it's going to be like this week! 

That reminds me, I have to go wash his jersey cause it's covered in guacamole and what is probably boogers.

GO HAWKS! 

It Caught Up To Me

The stress of being a stay at home mom has finally caught up to me. I think the last straw was reading yet another blog post by a mommy blogger about how mundane life as a mom is. I find this really insulting, because I try really hard every day. Some people might not find it as fun or rewarding, but I do.

Only now I'm starting to feel like my life sucks. I'm tired. I'm tired of cleaning up after people. I'm tired of digging out dried, caked on food from the crevices of a high chair. I used to love cleaning. I'm tired of Small Human fighting his sleep. I'm tired of organizing and putting things away. I'm tired of cooking and washing dishes. I'm tired of trying to figure out why my baby is whining and how I can help him be happy again.

I am just sick of it and now I feel like a bad person because I'm supposed to be grateful that I have all of these things, because this is just life.

People mistakenly believe that I somehow have all the time in the world to do things for myself and everyone, and that my life is easy breezy. I guess it just looks like all I do is hang out with a cute baby all day long, but that is not all that being a mom to a one year old entails.

Most of the time, I try to be positive about motherhood, because I really do love it. I just wish other people could be just as positive.

It can be wonderful but it can also be very difficult. I think I need a break. "But what about that 90 minute deluxe facial you had the other day?" <---- I think I need more than 90 minutes, just sayin'.