Oops, Rain

It seems like we Seattleites brought the rain with us, sorry! It has been really cold and rainy in Toronto, and as soon as we leave it is supposed to get warmer and sunnier of course. No matter where I am, I can never keep my hair cute, I give up.

I haven't had a chance to do any shopping yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will be going hog(town) wild at Shopper's Drugmart. The three things I miss the most about Canada are: the people, the sunny snowy days, and Shopper's Drugmart. I actually used to work there when I was in college, and it is most Canadian girls' happy place.

One can acquire all manner of Canadian and European toiletries, cosmetics and snacks at "Shopper's", things I can't get and most people have never even heard of in the US. Anyway, it's a place that started out as a drugstore and over the years, has evolved into a grocery store, photo place, and high/low end cosmetics store with a very rewarding points program to get you addicted. It is Lilibeth Mecca, and I go at least once every trip home.

Getting around to see everyone we want to now is not as easy with a baby, so we often have to scale it back, even though we'd really love to see all of you, we swear! Please, please come to visit us in Seattle, nothing would make us happier.

Not happy at Enoteca Sociale last night. No mum, it wasn't too loud there.

The new Jeffrey/Lilibeth selfie now includes a little lilibean

Partying and Mr. Bashful

We survived the plane ride to Toronto and I hear that Tidbit is doing well back home in Seattle so I have been able to breathe easy. We made it to the check-in counter at the airport with exactly two minutes to spare before the international flight cut off time, and semi-breezed through security with a toddler who acted like he was going to die because his crackers had to be put through the scanner.

The Small Human was incredibly hyper on the plane but only hit the call button once, which we consider winning. He slept for over two hours of our four and a half hour flight. Brendan and I were able to watch movies, eat snacks and drink, it was wonderful. (Like the old days!)

Friday and Saturday were spent schmoozing and partying, and thanks to my in-laws we were able to do this sans bebe. Already, we have had a really wonderful time catching up with people, getting ready to welcome more friends to the west coast, and celebrating a newly married couple. Not only that, but one of my besties had her baby girl the day we arrived, so if we wanted to, we could make a very sweet romantic comedy with the events that went on during our trip so far.

Also, Small Human gets super bashful now around people, and closes his eyes so he can't see anyone when he feels shy! It is very adorable but so strange to witness, when he used to be able to just play with anyone at all. Seriously, he would probably go home with friendly servers from restaurants before.

I have come to the conclusion that I am always mildly stressed out, but glad there is so much happiness this time around.

I Won't Freak Out, I Won't Freak Out

Alright, we are leaving on yet another jet plane. We're packed, prepared, exhausted, and our wonderful village is helping us to take care of Tidbit and make sure she is alright while we are away. Does this make me any less nervous? Not really. Am I relieved things are in order? Hell to the yes.

I'm excited for our family to see Small Human again. I feel so sorry for him when he doesn't get snuggled and spoiled by grandparents like most babies do, so it's nice when it happens. I love Canada so much, but how about from now on, Canada comes to us, eh? Wish us luck, see you on the other side of the border and have a great weekend. xoxo

My Baby is Twenty-One Months Old

Small Human is fast approaching two and I am now in that obnoxious parent territory where instead of saying "He's almost two", I still sometimes spit out, "Twenty-one months today". Please, don't roll your eyes at the parents who do this, just pity them for clinging on to the babyhood of their rapidly growing child.

All of these milestones have really got me thinking the last few days, not just about our little boy, but of the evolution of our partnership. When Brendan and I met, our conversations and plans revolved around finding ways to spend as much time together as possible, discovering the innovative new thing to check out (Nuit Blanche!), or taking trips to NYC. Then it quickly changed into figuring out what engagement ring I would love, what colours our wedding theme would be, then what couch would best fit our first married apartment, and not long after that, what colour scheme the nursery would be.

In hindsight, each step went by so quickly, but I'm happy to say that I have enjoyed every bit of it thus far. There were obviously challenging parts, like planning a wedding in Toronto alone while Brendan started a new job in Seattle, or the birth plan that went out the window with an emergency C-section. The beauty of life is that it's difficult, but it feels so good when you can come out on top despite being knocked down a dozen times.

What's life like now? A crazy monkey jumping on that couch we painstakingly chose that is now kinda dingy and stained, pointing to our wedding picture and excitedly screaming, "Dat Mumum! Dat Daaa-daa!". Yeah, I'm cool with this.

Happy Thursday.

LOL Co-sleeping

Last week, Small Human was having trouble sleeping which was probably related to his starting to speak more. Naptime was a nightmare that totally didn't even happen one day, and bedtime was such a struggle that resulted in 10pm or even 1am wake ups.

That's when I got ideas in my head. For naps I would just hold him on top of me while I wrote blog posts or responded to messages. That was fine, sweaty and drool-filled, but it has since ended and momie got to have her snuggle time in. I thought I could try it for bedtime too.

Small Human woke up at 10pm, crying his little face off, so I took him into bed with me and snuggled my sweet little babe to my heart's content! I was so happy that I fell asleep with a big, goofy grin on my face. Until he woke me up 30 minutes later, squirming and kicking and pinching, while completely asleep. This happened every 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes. It was how I imagine sleeping with a baby chimpanzee would be like.

After only about an hour and a half of trying co-sleeping (yet again), I promptly deposited my baby monkey into his crib. He cried for a minute but slept peacefully til morning and so did I. I'm not really sure why people think co-sleeping is best for raising a healthy child, because in our house it would only result in a very crabby, sleepless-in-Seattle family who would probably all end up sick from lack of proper rest.

Verdict? I will not be trying that again in a hurry. Happy Hump Day!

More Travel Stress

I am trying really hard not to stress the eff out about our upcoming trip back to Toronto. I both want to see people and don't want to see anyone at all, because almost everyone we know is in this one city. It is also probably the closest thing we will ever come to being celebrities, because our arrival is highly anticipated, only certain people who are in the know are privy to our comings and goings, our appearances are all rigorously scheduled, and we are in and out like the jet-setting Jolie-Pitts. Ok that last bit was added to satiate my own silly fantasy, but you catch my drift, it's more stressful than leisurely.

Learning how to relax and live in the moment has never really been one of my strong points. This will be our last free trip with Small Human cause once he turns 2 we'll have to buy him a seat, so I should just try my best to really enjoy this mini vacation as a family of three. We are going for our friends' wedding and it is sure to be a lovely time with amazing people. Who doesn't love getting dressed up and partying with friends you haven't seen in awhile?

Can you believe we leave in three days and I still haven't packed? Brendan and I have also resigned ourselves to the fact there is nothing we can do but be present for our hyper baby and do our best to distract him. It is totally out of our control so I'm just gonna roll with the punches cause I'm too tired to care. We have a rambunctious boy, we deal with it.

I honestly don't know if traveling is going to bring up any sad/scary memories of the last time we were in Canada, but I'm gonna try to hold it together. My OBGYN actually told me I was a bad ass for the way I handled everything (she didn't even know about the passing of my aunt and bunny), so I am going to hold on to the knowledge that I can be strong when I need to be.

Wow, can you tell how much traveling stresses me out now?

Giving Thanks

Back home in Canada where we are from, it's Thanksgiving. Canadian Thanksgiving confuses Americans, but it's pretty much the same thing only earlier. It always falls on a Monday, isn't quite as big of a deal as Christmas is, plus no one shops the next day.

For me, Thanksgiving was the holiday that fell around my mum's birthday, so there was always a lot of food that long weekend. Every year, my sister and I were in charge of making the mashed potatoes from scratch, so after twenty years of doing this, I now make a mean mashed potato. I wish I could say I make a mean pancit but sadly I do not. (Daddy, teach me your recipe already!)

I have to confess that I have been feeling a bit angry and bitter as of late, but for some reason I still feel very grateful to have everything that I have in my life. My life is great, I have no doubts about that, but oftentimes it can be hard to recognize and admit it when you focus on the bad events that have just recently ravaged your emotions.

Thank you to the special people who have taken the time to message me with your genuine concern and well wishes, and for those of you who have helped to ease my soul. Your kindness means more to me than any words can express.

I'm so thankful for the life that I am living. Not the life I aspire to have, or the life that I have lived, but the life that I have right now. It's perfect. Each day is challenging, taxing, exhausting, and sometimes infuriating, but it's also happy, fulfilling, amazing, and full of laughter. I wouldn't change a thing.

Be well, and enjoy your Today.

Thanks :)